


No Good Deed

by tothineownelfbetrue



Category: Disenchantment (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Alcohol, Bets & Wagers, Elfo and Luci make a bet, Insults, Just.... Luci basically, Luci and Elfo are friends, Luci being a jerk, Luci kicks puppies, Luci makes fun of orphans, Luci's not nice damn it, M/M, Moonshine, Morality, Yet more people who want to kidnap Elfo, gender-neutral potato thieves, hinted Luci/Elfo, no beta we die like men, several incidental dreamland characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothineownelfbetrue/pseuds/tothineownelfbetrue
Summary: Luci might be banished from Hell but he's still a creature of evil.   He's a demon, damn it!  If Elfo thinks Luci's got a spark of decency somewhere deep inside, he's sorely mistaken....Right?Or: That weird fic where Luci and Elfo make a bet.
Relationships: Elfo/Luci (Disenchantment)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after a slightly alternate version of Part 2, Episode 9 "The Electric Princess".

-  
  


“Well… I know they threw us in the dungeon, but that doesn’t make them bad.”

It was the same argument again. They’d had it so many times that it was rote by now and with even less possibility of finding any kind of conclusion that wasn’t a passive-aggressive ‘agreeing to disagree’ on Elfo’s part. It almost wasn’t even worth engaging, except that Luci didn’t want to ‘lose out’ to the elf in what was - for a mortal, anyway - a battle of wits. Still, it was tiresome to have to explain how Hell worked.

Bad was the default for mortals as far as demons were concerned, it was more a matter of _how_ bad. Besides, Luci hated being locked up just because some Dreamland knights were idiots. It had been worse for him because they’d put him in a damn collar like he was an actual cat. 

No. He didn’t have any intention of forgiving that indignity, but that wasn’t even the point. “Actually, it does. Trust me. I’m from Hell. I should know. If you do bad things, you go to Hell.”

“And if you do good things you don’t go to Hell, right?”

“Well... “ Luci hedged for a moment. “I mean you’ll probably go to Hell anyway. Most people go to Hell.”

“Well, that just doesn’t make any sense.”

It was true, as much as Luci was loathe to admit it. When you really considered the system, it just came across as a bit arbitrary. He’d always been fine with that. Being a demon, it hadn’t mattered to him why someone went to Hell, as long as they were there for him to torment. If he ever got a position important enough to allow him to actually torment mortals personally instead of being the gopher for some higher up demon. There were plenty of… well… not good, but not terrible people in Hell.

“It doesn’t have to make sense!” His ‘clever’ retort was both less clever and more frantic than it should have been. He had no need to justify Hell to someone like Elfo. So why was he arguing the point? “That’s just how it is. Hell is for bad people.”

“And demons?” Elfo had a weird expression on his face. Searching. A bit earnest. 

Luci wasn’t sure what this obvious question was leading to so he met Elfo’s gaze steadily. “Yes.”

“But you’re a demon.” Again, the obvious, but this time Luci had an inkling where this line of conversation was heading.

“Yeah, doy. And I’m evil, remember? That’s kind of my whole thing. I’m here to corrupt dumbass mortals like Bean-” _and Elfo_ “-to make sure they wind up in Hell.”

“But you said most people wind up in Hell anyway!” Elfo leaned forward, making his point with a kind of excited vehemence. “So if most people are going to Hell, then why did you come to the mortal realm to corrupt Bean?” He had an air of triumph that made Luci really want to punch him. “So either Bean isn’t that bad-”

“Oh, she is. She’s a shitty person.” Luci was being a bit cruel, he knew it right away, but he pushed aside any twinges of guilt that might have been trying to manifest at his comment about Bean. He doubled down. “She’s definitely going to Hell.”

Somehow that didn’t deter Elfo. The elf’s smile only got wider at that, as he finished the statement Luci had tried to interrupt. “Or else, you’re not that bad and you came up here because you like not being in Hell.”

It took a second for him to wrap his mind around the words… what they were implying.

When he finally did, his fur bristled immediately. What the fuck was the elf even suggesting? That he wasn’t evil enough for Hell? He was a demon goddamn it! “Hey!” His words rose in a sharp bark, trying to cut off any more nonsense. “I’m more than bad enough. I love being in Hell! What, do you think I came up here because of dumbass mortals like you? This is my fucking _job_ , not some vacation!”

But Elfo was still giving him that look, that knowing little smile that Luci was ready to slap right off of his face. Like Luci was actually doing something _nice_ or some bullshit like that. 

“Oh, Luci,” Elfo managed to sound both admiring but also a little condescending. It was a good trick. “You can’t fool me.”

Luci’s eyes narrowed. “Actually… I can. I do it all the time. You’re so gullible!” Elfo fell for just about every bizarre thing Luci could put in front of him, including one time where Luci had sent him a letter - via turkey - pretending to be a Dankmirian Prince whose rich family member died and who needed money for royal paperwork. “I can’t think of one lie I’ve told that you haven’t fallen for. If you look up gullible in the dictionary, it’d have your picture right next to it!”

“No it wouldn’t,” Elfo scowled for a second. “That entry has a picture of my second cousin, Duplo.”

There was no reasoning with stupid. Luci pinched at the bridge of his nose. “It’s not even worth having this argument!”

Yet Elfo persisted. “I’m just saying that I think… deep down. Uh…” He looked Luci over and then quickly revised a little, “Really _really_ deep down… that you’re actually secretly a good person.”

The demon slammed his paws down on the bar at that bit of blasphemy, “You take that back you son of a bitch!” He almost leaped over the counter to launch himself at Elfo, but Bean reached out her arm just slightly and he ran into it instead, landing hard on his ass. Elfo hadn’t even had the good grace to be intimidated by this display of righteous - or unholy, rather - anger. Stupid Elfo with his stupid trying to see the good in everyone… and his stupid squishy green face that Luci wanted to both punch and kiss.

Elfo waited until Luci had settled enough that Bean could remove her arm as a barrier between them. The demon didn’t move, sensing that doing so would just put that arm right back where it had been and make him look like an idiot. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to find some sense of calm.

“Leaving Hell hasn’t dulled my edge.” He said, as intimidatingly as he could. “I haven’t gone soft. I’ve just…”. Just what? He almost said ‘adapted’ but that would kind of acknowledge the point that Elfo was trying to make about how the world could rub off on him over time. “I’m as much of an asshole as ever!” He finally concluded, spitting the words out as though his anger might make them more credible.

“Oh yeah?” Elfo’s voice went soft, a tone that he rarely heard from the jovial elf. Luci wasn’t sure how far he could trust it. “Then why don’t you prove it? Be a jerk to me.”

“You’re a stupid little troll with a big nose and no one likes you.” Luci snapped back automatically. He regretted it - a little bit, anyway - when Elfo’s eyes got big and his breath hitched like he might be about to cry. Elfo had been asking for it though. Right? And besides, he _was_ a demon, so this was kind of his whole M.O. 

Elfo let out a soft cough, then smiled even though Luci was pretty sure he wasn’t actually feeling cheerful. Or maybe he was just really stupid and it made it harder for the insult to stick. Either way, the elf was rallying too fast for Luci to be happy about. “Well, okay, so maybe you can be a jerk to me, but you’re not a jerk all the time.”

“...I am too!” Luci snapped back, feeling a spike of defensiveness. He really shouldn’t have, but Elfo just had this way of getting under his skin. Why did he even care if Elfo thought he was ‘nice’ or something. He knew better!

...Didn’t he?

Their argument had caught the attention of some other people in the bar though, gazes on them, and Luci felt his ears go back as he grimaced a little. Damn it. What if these assholes heard what Elfo was saying and actually believed it? What would that do to his reputation? Normally he didn’t give a shit what people thought, except that the idea of them thinking he was… ugh… _nice_ made him sick…

“Look,” Luci growled, pinching at the bridge of his large nose, his tail moving in a slow lashing motion behind him for a second before he straightened up again, his eyes narrowed as he met Elfo’s searching gaze. “I know you’re not going to agree with me because you’re always on about that whole ‘seeing the best in someone’ bullshit, but I guarantee you that there is nothing even remotely nice about me. I’m a demo- er…” The sound of rustling and glasses scraping across wood reminded him that he was in public and he couldn’t be completely sure that it was late enough in the day that the citizens had drunken themselves into a stupor and wouldn’t remember what he was saying. “I’m a cat. We all know that… cats… are assholes.”

There were a few nods from a couple of the nearby patrons, though others seemed dubious. Luci ignored all of them.

“In fact, I’m not even sure I could go a whole day without being an asshole. That’s how much of a horrible person I am. So there’s not anything even remotely pleasant about me.”

Elfo’s expression shifted at his words and Luci wasn’t sure why. It was a smile and Elfo should have been upset by this reassurance that Luci was, in fact, evil to the very core of his tiny demonic form. Instead, he was smiling.

Luci’s eyes narrowed and his voice trailed off. He was going to regret asking, but he had to. Elfo trying to be clever always ended in disaster for them somehow. If there wasn’t a good chance he’d be dragged into it, he would have relished the fact that the elf always had his plans blow up in his face. “What?” 

Elfo shook his head a little, steepling his fingers in front of him with an unbearably smug expression on his face. “Oh nothing.”

“Fuck you. We both know it’s something. Just say it already.”

“You said you couldn’t go a whole day without being an asshole,” Elfo parroted back blithely. “But I bet you couldn’t go a whole day without doing something nice.”

Was he serious? “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Green fingers tapped rhythmically on the table and Elfo’s expression didn’t change away from that smile. Luci had a strong urge to slap him and the only reason he didn’t was because Elfo was trying to rile him up and he wasn’t going to fall for it. “You know you can’t. You always wind up doing nice things for me or Bean at some point-”

Oh. So that was how Elfo wanted to play it? Well, he wasn’t going to get sucked up into some stupid ga- “You’re on.” The words slipped out without him intending to say anything. He blinked a few seconds as they hung on the air, looking around the room in hopes that Elfo had been the only one to catch his slip, that he could walk it back. But Dreamland residents had an eye out for any excuse to spend money in a pointless fashion, especially on gambling and only ten seconds after he’d accepted Elfo’s challenge, he could see that some enterprising drunk was already starting to take bets. If it hadn’t concerned _him_ personally, he would have applauded the effort.

Instead, he could only stare at Elfo and try his best to not let dismay show on his face. 

“So… nothing nice for 24 hours?” Luci scoffed aloud. “This should be easy.” Elfo nodded, just a slow tip of his head, a thoughtful expression sliding across his face. “What are the terms?” 

“If you win… uh…” Elfo patted at his pockets, but he didn’t have anything on him. “If you win, I’ll stop saying you’re nice.”

Luci stiffened a little. It sounded too good to be true. “You’ll never say it again? No bullshit variations either? No talking about how we’re ‘friends’ or any shit like that?” He made air-quotes on the word ‘friends’ because, despite Elfo’s delusions, they weren’t anything except for two - sorta - guys who hung out with the same drunken princess.

Elfo hedged for a few seconds, biting his lip, then finally bobbed his head in assent. “Y-yeah.” He drew a breath. “And if I win…” his voice trailed off, considering. Luci narrowed his eyes, staring at him and wishing that he’d somehow retained enough of his demon powers to spontaneously set Elfo’s head on fire. Sadly, there wasn’t even a wisp of smoke and wasn’t going to be unless the process of thinking somehow blew Elfo’s idiotic little brain.

But no, he couldn’t even have that much luck, could he?

Instead, Elfo turned back to him with a smile, satisfied at what he was about to ask for. Luci tried to override it but Elfo was too fast on the draw for once. “If I win, you have to admit we’re friends.”

For a few seconds, Luci’s brain simply stopped functioning. The words were too much for him to fully wrap his mind around and even though they sank in at a surface level, his body was refusing to process them, for his own protection.

_Friends? The two of them? Friends? What the hell-_

“I…” When he finally managed to grit out a few words, dragging them past his teeth, he felt himself shake a little. “We’re not…”

Elfo’s expression was earnest but also confident, probably because he had the entirety of the bar and their stupid mortal need to fixate on any distraction from their pathetic lives to back him up. And he was right… Luci couldn’t refuse. Not now.

But holy hell, what a price to pay if he lost… Luci couldn’t quite keep his ears from going back at that, his teeth gritting as his claws clenched into his palms. Damn Elfo. Damn him! “Fine.” He managed, at last, spitting the words out like they were poison on his tongue. “If you win, I’ll…” His words dropped into a mumble, incomprehensible. 

The elf wasn’t going to leave it at that, leaning toward him with a hand behind his ear. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

Asshole.

“I’ll admit it okay! Now back your smug face out of my tail range before I smack that smile off of it!” He would have too, and Elfo was either smart enough - or had enough sheer animal ‘danger’ instinct - to back up and give the demon his space.

“Twenty-four hours,” Elfo said as soon as he was out of striking range. He cleared his throat. “Starting tomorrow morning? Dawn?”

Luci spent most of the morning up until mid-afternoon sleeping, like a proper drunk. So that was fine with him. It would give him a bit of a head start at not being nice since he’d be asleep. “Sure.”

-

“Luci!” 

Normally Luci would have just rolled over in his half-awake state and dragged the cushion over his head, waiting for Elfo to get bored of calling through the door at him and leave. But he was reminded that it was too damn early for this kind of nonsense and why was Elfo trying to wake him up at this hour anyway?

Oh yeah. The bet.

Well, if Elfo was trying to get him up early so he’d have more time to get Luci to be ‘nice’ he was going to be sorely disappointed. A demon interrupted was a grouchy demon, to say the least. Luci rolled off of his cushion and padded toward the door, not yelling so as not to clue Elfo in to his intention. He opened the door and peered out, blearily.

Elfo was smiling, looking down at him and far too bright and chipper for this early in the morning. The sun was only halfway up, damn it! It couldn’t have been much past 9 or 10 AM. Luci waited for a few more seconds as Elfo perked up in response to him actually answering the door. “Luci! There you are! I just thought today might be a good day to-”

He never finished his statement. Luci punched him unceremoniously in the gut and then slammed the door in his face.

That’d show him to interrupt Luci’s sleep. Plus, it fell firmly on the side of ‘being an asshole’ which meant that this whole bet thing was off to a good start. Slinking back to his cushion, Luci fell into it, face first, sprawling in the bands of sunlight coming in from the nearby window. He had a few more hours to kill before he was ready to actually engage with the outside world.

But trying to sleep with Elfo still on his stupid crusade to prove they were - ugh - friends, proved to be impossible. There was another knock at the door and Luci snarled as he buried his face more firmly in the cushion. “What part of ‘go away’ don’t you understand?!” He snapped.

There was a long pause and then Elfo replied, a bit hesitant, “The… away… part?”

Ugh. Just kill him already. Luci rolled over, falling off his cushion and landing on the hardwood floor in a heap. He let out a growl, then closed his eyes as there was yet another knock.

No good. It looked like this whole nonsense was happening and no amount of using Elfo as a punching bag was going to sway the moron from his ‘mission’. Fine.

He opened the door again. Elfo stepped back a little, giving Luci a brief stab of satisfaction. So the dumbass could be taught. Luci didn’t hide his brief smile, but he stepped out of the room anyway. “So.” He said, as casual as he could manage. “What idiotic idea did you have that required you to drag me out of bed?” His tail flicked, betraying his impatience even though the tone of his voice was carefully level.

Elfo smiled, a little hesitantly. “Yeah. I thought we could… go out.” He didn’t give more than that to go on and Luci took it to mean that they were going to go somewhere that Luci didn’t want to have anything to do with. 

“Sure.” He said, finally. Dismissive. It wasn’t like there was anywhere Elfo could take him that would inspire him to be nicer. If the elf thought he could manage that, he was just going to be disappointed when Luci remained the unrepentant asshole he’d always been.

-


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


This whole bet thing was getting off to a relatively good start, if Luci said so himself. Elfo was taking him to somewhere that was going to ‘bring out his good side’ and while he’d been quiet about exactly where it was, the demon felt like he was ready for just about anything. But while they were prepping to go there, he was already getting in some ‘asshole’ time. From just their apartment to the next street over, he’d already mocked a homeless beggar and paused long enough to kick every puppy in a box of puppies someone had left out for adoption.

Each small yelp made Elfo wince, but the idiot was persistent. He waited for Luci to be done even though it had to be killing him to not be able to drag the demon away from his jerkass animal abuse. Truthfully, after the old man and the second puppy, it was kind of dull if Elfo wasn’t actively responding to his actions, so the rest of the boxful got only some pretty cursory abuse before Luci gave up and went back to following the elf.

Elfo’s dedication to this whole bet would have been more surprising if the elf - much like Bean - wasn’t so damn persistent and stubborn. Maybe it was just a mortal thing, but once he’d set his mind to something, the elf refused to budge. And he’d somehow convinced himself that Luci was Good, which was the sort of delusion that just couldn’t be tolerated.

As they wound through the back streets of Dreamland, Luci went through the laundry list of potential places in his head, all the notions of charity and goodness that humans and other mortal types tried - and failed - to aspire to. His biggest hope was just that it wasn’t a church. He’d done that before and it was both boring and also uncomfortable. Sure, he wasn’t a demon anymore… not exactly… but unless he was already a bit drunk or high, church was the last place he wanted to be.

It wasn’t that, fortunately for him, but it definitely wasn’t a place too far down on his list of ‘tedious places Elfo might force him to visit’.

“Orphanage. Yawn.” Luci looked up at the sign for the Orphanarium, eyes half-lidded. “You can’t seriously tell me you think this will prove anything. Hanging out with pathetic, annoying little twerps isn’t going to make me nicer. And neither will some unwashed orphan brats.” His snappy little dig went right over Elfo’s head, as usual.

Instead of replying, Elfo was just moving to stand in front of the window. There were iron bars to keep the orphans from escaping before they were sold off to anyone interested in adding another kid to what was likely to already be a gaggle. The kids were leaning against the bars, some of them with their arms hanging out in a sad little sprawl. Drama queens. “Oh, come on, Luci. You can’t honestly tell me that you don’t feel just a tiny bit bad for them. They’re orphans!”

“Having parents isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. I got along just fine without them. Besides, have you actually met anyone with parents who weren’t more of a pain in the ass than they were worth?”

“Well my-”

“I swear to Satan that if you say anything complimentary about your deadbeat dad, I will hit you. Repeatedly.”

Elfo’s mouth snapped shut and he squirmed where he stood, but he was smart enough to not actually utter a flattering word about Pops. Luci was a little relieved, not because he had any desire to avoid hitting Elfo - in fact, he was thinking about doing so anyway, just to prove a point to himself - but because Pops was like the third worst parent he’d met since coming up to the mortal realm. The only two worse parents he’d ever met were-

“Well, what about Be-” Luci wasn’t sure what the look he was giving Elfo was, but it caused Elfo to immediately retract the statement. “Nevermind.” He sighed. “Look, I know not all parents are good, but that’s still got to be better than having no parents right? Being all alone in the world with no one to care about or feed you or tuck you in at night…”

While Elfo was waxing poetic about parents, the orphans behind him were staring, their eyes getting bigger and wetter with every word that escaped the elf’s lips. Luci waited. Normally he would have stopped Elfo from going on and on, finding the sound of his voice grating, but this time he wasn’t even going to have to make some effort at tormenting these miserable little brats. From the look of things, Elfo was doing just fine on his own.

“And when you’re sad, they’re the ones who tie you up and smack you on the-” The waterworks began at a fortunate time since Elfo’s rambling was heading into cringeworthy territory. There was a choked noise from the window and then a wailing cry. Elfo whirled around rapidly, eyes wide as he watched the orphans starting to bawl. It started with one and then like a contagious virus, caught on with the rest of the lot. “W-wait… what’s wrong? Don’t be sad…”

Luci snorted. “Good job. I didn’t even have to bother being an asshole to the kids. Looks like you made them miserable all by yourself.” While Elfo was staring at him in horror, the realization setting in, Luci cleared his throat. “So. Are we done? I have a bed to get back to so I can ignore you and everyone else until it’s time to get back to poisoning losers with sad lives and problems I don’t care about.”

Elfo wrung his hands, his steps speeding up as they left the orphanage behind. Elfo didn’t slow up until they were out of visual range. He was a bit short on breath from their speedy exit and it took him a few seconds, leaning against a nearby alley wall, before he looked at Luci with a frown. “Luci!” He grimaced. “No!”

The demon narrowed his eyes, meeting Elfo’s gaze with a steady stare. Instead of being intimidated, the elf doubled down. 

“We’re going to find someone who can prove my point.”

“What? That I’m some kind of-” Luci shuddered as he tried to find some kind of descriptor for the insult Elfo had dealt him that didn’t involve actually letting the word ‘nice’ slip from his mouth.

“You are though!” Elfo yelped back.

So. This was getting him nowhere… except in the sense that it was making him increasingly inclined to strangle Elfo and end the ridiculous bet right here and now. He smiled instead, a look that gave no reassurance, just the promise of mayhem to come. “What? You need me to prove it? Fine.”

“W-what…?” Elfo froze. “No!”

Luci had the bit in his teeth though and there was no way Elfo was going to stop him. If Elfo wanted to try and play the game, he was going to have to prepare himself for his inevitable loss. When it came to being an asshole, Luci was a master.

_ Okay, maybe in Hell he’d failed… a little bit… but here on the surface, humans and other mortal creatures were wishy-washy at best, not often aspiring to the true depths of assholery. _

Luci walked down the street with Elfo scurrying to catch up to him, almost tripping over his own feet. Even with his short legs, it didn’t take much effort for Luci to get much of a lead. And as he walked, he began to rack up his asshole tally.

He flicked out his tail as a man passed by with an armload of big buckets that contained - for some reason - smaller buckets. The man didn’t see it coming, tripping over the dark, flexible appendage with a yelp and tumbling to the ground. The buckets scattered all over.

Elfo fumbled as he caught up. “I-I’m sorry! My friend is sorry!” He looked at Luci. “Tell him you’re sorry…”

“Hey you, unwashed moron.” Luci began, watching as Elfo got tentatively optimistic before the demon dashed his hopes. “You should go dunk your head in the ocean.”

“But I already had my ocean dunking last month-” The man began but Luci wasn’t listening. Instead, he took advantage of Elfo’s distraction with trying to help the man re-stack the spilled items, speeding a few more steps forward to scrawl graffiti on a nearby wall with a vial of ink and a nice brush that he’d swiped from the hands of a scribe-slash-political-cartoonist. As he walked, he was leaving a steady trail of swear words on the buildings.

At some point, Elfo had either succeeded at helping bucket guy get all his shit together or he’d given up on the task because the buckets were almost as big as he was. Either way, there was a gasp that signified Elfo had found his ‘art’ on the wall. “LUCI!” His voice was high and nasally with outrage. “Why- For a good time call…” His voice trailed off and Luci smirked without ever looking in Elfo’s direction, just waiting for it. “T-that’s so naughty!” There was a quiver of anger to the elf’s voice as he dashed after the demon, his shoes clacking on the cobbles.

Luci paused long enough for him to come near, idly curling his tail around a nearby brick, reeling it in. As Elfo drew close, Luci hopped up onto the nearest window sill. “Well, I wonder what an asshole would do right with a brick and an open window? Hmmm…”

“D-don’t you dare-”

Dark lips curled in a smirk and he stared sidelong at Elfo, sliding the brick into his hand and bouncing it experimentally to test the weight. “Don’t I dare what?” 

“Luci…”

No. No placating. He’d had quite enough of being some kind of sappy pushover. He wasn’t going to tolerate it anymore. Hell powers or not, he was a demon. Luci turned, chucking the brick into the open window. It was only once it left his hand that he realized he’d stepped right up to the window of a shop that was selling glass jars and vases and fancy ceramic tea kettles.

Why was there even a shop with this kind of stuff-?

There was a long silence within as his brick soared in a neat arc to bounce off a shelf and land on the floor with a thud. Luci let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, more than a little amazed that he’d somehow managed to miss everything breakable in the entire damn place… and the store was 99% breakable objects. 

When Elfo came up beside him, jumping up and scrabbling a little in an effort to pull himself onto the window sill too before finally giving up after a few moments of futile struggle, his chest and arms braced against the wood and his legs dangling outside. He stared inside at the lack of carnage with an expression of disbelief that Luci echoed. Then he relaxed a little, sagging with a soft sigh.

A second later, the corner of the shelf that Luci had hit with the brick gave a slight crack, a tiny, tiny noise. Elfo’s eyes shot open just in time to see the entire shelf come down onto the shelf below it, then the one below that. If it had been any other time, Luci would almost have reveled in the way it all played out, a domino effect of destruction. He actually wished he could have taken credit, that he’d planned it deliberately instead of it being a coincidence - or bad luck, or hubris on the part of the elf for daring to voice doubt over whether a demon was evil or not.

Either way, the din hit his ears a second later, loud enough that even Luci winced with his stupid now-mortal ears. The door to the back of the shop opened, the shopkeeper peering out, his mouth hanging open in a comical way before he spotted the two of them on the sill. 

Luci’d never seen anyone turn that precise shade of red before. Well… no human, anyway. The man reached for a broken pot nearby, something with sharp, sharp edges, and Luci wisely jumped down from the sill and started running, laughter trailing in his wake. 

-

  
  


He didn’t bother to look and see if Elfo was following. If the elf got killed by an irate shopkeeper after the destruction of all his merch, then Luci had to be the winner by default, right? Not that he intended to do anything nice that would have made him lose anyway, but that would have sealed the deal.

Unfortunately for him, Elfo was far too accustomed to running for his life. He came up on Luci quickly as soon as the demon finally stopped. Luci considered whether he should keep going, try to ditch Elfo, and just get on with his business, but he was too late by the time he decided. Elfo was shaking as he came in close, bracing against the nearest object.

“Luci…” he panted. “You are being _so bad_ right now!”

Luci only stared at him. “Well doy.” If Elfo had expected anything less, he was an even bigger idiot than Luci had originally expected.

Elfo’s hands clenched and he shook his head, opening his mouth like he was going to say something else, maybe try and pick a fight or scold Luci on all the things he’d done recently, for no reason other than because he could and because it was his effort to spite Elfo. He didn’t get that chance because a croaking voice interrupted him.

“Hey! No fighting on my corner! Weird little rabbit men and smart-mouthed cats are bad for business!” Both of them looked up, wincing as a few droplets of water hit them. It made Luci’s fur stand on end, even before his gaze traveled high enough to pinpoint the man sitting in the barrel they were standing near. His ladle was hanging haphazardly from the edge of the barrel and even at this angle, Luci could read the words - 

“Me Flavoured water! Fifteen cents! Come taste my b-”   
  
“NO!” Elfo yelped out loud enough to cut off the less than savory word. He grabbed hold of Luci by the shoulder. “We’re going!”

Luci stared at him, a challenge, and when Elfo didn’t immediately look away and give him the satisfaction of victory, he flicked his tail out, hitting the barrel and sinking the tip deep into a [pothole] that had been plugged with a cork. His spade sank deep in the corkwood, twisted there. He yanked in a smooth motion and pulled it right out.

Me Flavored water gushed from the hole in the wood, soaking the cobblestones and almost hitting Luci before he had the good sense to scramble to higher ground on Elfo’s shoulder. The old water salesman let out a howl of frustration as his livelihood was flushed down the dirty sloping walkways of Dreamland.

He expected more protest from Elfo, but instead of whining about how he’d just done something terrible, Elfo took off on his short little legs, with Luci still clinging to him, bouncing on his shoulder as they ran. There was a clatter from behind them and Luci almost looked back before he realized that there was a good chance there was an elderly _naked_ water peddler trying to catch them. Evil or not, he didn’t need to see that.

...But if anyone else did, he would get to add on even more asshole points for assaulting their eyes with that view. It was win-win as long as he didn’t actually look for himself. He just held on and let Elfo put a safe distance between them and the irate, waterlogged idiot.

-

He had to give Elfo points… the elf could actually be fast when sufficiently motivated. He only came to a halt a few minutes later, after they’d covered a fair amount of ground through the back alleys of Dreamland. Elfo paused, leaning against a wall, struggling to draw air. Luci waited a few seconds before jumping down. “Well, this has been fun.”

Elfo rounded on him, hands on his hips and frowning in a manner that made him look like a particularly unintimidating nanny. “Nuh-uh! I’m not done yet. We still have-” He paused a moment, counted on his fingers a couple of times then shook his head and gave up on his calculations. “We still have until noon tomorrow-”

“Bullshit. You did _not_ wake me up at noon.” Luci normally got up a little past noon anyway. If he was in a bad mood, it was all Elfo’s fault, both for waking him up early and for this entire wager.

“That’s not… the point…” Elfo tried to counter but Luci wasn’t going to allow that. It was bad enough that he was engaging with this stupid bet anyway. 

“Oh, I think it is. We made an agreement. One whole day. It’s not my fault you’ve been delusional and wasted the entire day trying to prove a point that you just can’t. What part of ‘demon’ isn’t sinking in with you? I’m not nice, god damn it!” Luci looked up. While they’d been futzing around, time had been passing. A good several hours at least, the sun was well past the halfway point on the sky and starting to head into evening territory. “And it’s past time that I got to work. So if you don’t have anything important to say, I’m going to the bar.”

He didn’t give Elfo time to respond, padding away on his fast little legs. There was silence behind him, then the sound of heeled elf feet against cobbles as Elfo followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this update. I wrote the ending originally and then when I went through and started edits for posting... I just didn't like it very much. So I did a total rewrite on the back half of the fic and I'm much happier with the result.
> 
> It also meant that there's one more chapter after this one! That should go online next week!

-  
  
  


The walk back was strangely, unbearably quiet. Elfo had been so pushy and eager all throughout the day so far that Luci felt like he should have been grateful that for once the elf had decided to shut up instead of prattling on about all the things he _thought_ Luci was. But for some reason, the silence was unnerving. When they reached the bar, Luci ducked behind the counter and set about ignoring Elfo while getting prepped for his work.

It didn't really serve as a deterrent for the elf to hang around, as much as Luci might have wished otherwise. Elfo eased into a chair nearby and fidgeted. He kept darting glances at Luci that the demon didn't meet. Luci was far less worried about Elfo trying anything to prove his point about Luci's relative level of goodness now that he was in the middle of work. The elf tended to be into the whole "work ethic" schtick and part of that was the fact that he couldn't mess up Luci's business without being an asshole himself.

Luci figured he'd get bored sooner or later, especially if he wasn't drinking.

People started to migrate in over the next couple of hours, though the bar wasn't as full as Luci could have hoped for. But it was steady enough to deter Elfo, at least. The evening was well on the way to him working his usual shift until 2 am and then going to sleep and waking up when this bet was already over. Then everything would be back to normal and Elfo would never be able to tell him he wasn't the biggest asshole on the entire planet.

At least that was how he expected things to go. Then some unanticipated visitors entered the bar and Luci's planned out evening went to hell.

...not literally to Hell. But close enough.

-

Luci recognized the trio as soon as they crossed the threshold. He wasn't the only one too, if Elfo's exaggerated gasp was an indication. Still, while the three ruffians had stolen a bunch of stuff from Bean - after Luci's very helpful advice about the meager wealth hidden in the royal tombs - they hadn't done a lot to him in particular. He'd been kind of busy getting exorcised the second time Bean and Elfo had encountered these guys. In any case, he wasn't going to not serve them drinks, unless they refused to give him money.

Their leader came up to him, a smile on her - their? he wasn't sure what pronouns humans used in gender-neutral situations - face. Luci ignored the stare Elfo was giving him. Hell, it actually spurred him to talk to them even more, knowing that it made Elfo uncomfortable. "So, what can I do for you?" Luci greeted.

The three of them exchanged glances. Their leader leaned in close, to speak for Luci's ears alone. Well, Luci's and Elfo's nosy but surprisingly good ones. "We heard you were in the dealin' for illicit substances." She said.

Illegal black market exchanges? Score! That could only make his day even better. Elfo's growing expression of discomfort and the soft whine that came from him at the very mention of doing such awful, illegal things only spurred Luci on that much more. He couldn't really see a downside to this. Especially not once Elfo very deliberately cleared his throat, trying to get Luci's attention. Then, when Luci didn't so much as spare him a glance, he did it again, louder. Then, finally, he hissed loudly, " _Luci!_ "

Luci grimaced. "Hold on a second and we can talk on the goods." He paused, then waved them toward the back. "Just head down the hall. We can meet in my office. I've just got to take care of something. There was a round of nods and then she led her two companions around to the other side of the bar, leaving Luci alone with Elfo.

Elfo waited until they were a reasonable distance away before turning to Luci in dismay. He was probably trying to whisper, but he was tremendously bad at it. "You can't make a deal with them!" He squawked. "They're criminals."

"And so were we, when we met them." Luci pointed out. "Look, I'm not going to not make a deal with someone just because they've robbed and cheated some people. I mean.... if everyone did that, I'd never get any business. Besides, I'm a demon! The worse someone is, the more I want to deal with them! Hell, the more I want to spend time with them! Good people are boring!"

There was a pause on the heels of that statement, Elfo shifting slightly in his seat, dismayed. "Y-you think I'm boring?" He asked, quietly. There was a slight hopefulness to his tone that made Luci's gut twist a little for some reason.

"Well doy!" He said. "I've only said it a thousand times before!" As the words spilled out, Elfo's expression only crumpled more in response. For just a split second, Luci almost thought he'd rubbed it in too hard, that Elfo might actually cry or something. Then he reminded himself that he didn't care if Elfo cried and that would only be more evidence for why he was an asshole. He wasn't going to win this bet by backing down on a perfectly legitimate point about how Elfo was a wuss. "You're the most dull, goody-two-shoes meddler I've ever met in my entire life. Half the time I just want to punch you and the rest of the time I'm trying not to fall asleep!"

Elfo took a long shaky breath, shoulders straightening. Braced himself. He finally met Luci's ga ze and though it looked like he might have been about to cry, the tears didn't actually fall. His voice was small and tight. "Well... If that's really the way you feel-"

"It is." Luci interrupted, as coldly as he could.

The words brought Elfo another second of pause but then he continued, the effort obvious in the forced restraint in his voice. The last time Luci had heard him utter a tone like this, it had been when he thought Bean really wanted to get with that one Viking dude instead of realizing that she had a plan. "If that's really the way you feel... then maybe we shouldn't even be friends."

Luci's fingers clenched for a second at that, unbidden. He wasn't sure why. That was basically all he'd ever wanted out of life. No meddling Elfo to saddle him with unrealistic expectations about his motivations or feelings. No more whiny expressing of friendship or feelings. That was the dream! He didn't _need_ Elfo in his life. There was no reason for the weird sensation in his chest at those words. He pushed it back and his own voice was cool as ice, "That's what I've been saying for ages now!"

Elfo turned away from him at that, biting his lip hard. His hands clenched against his knees and he didn't look at Luci as he said. "If that's what you want." Luci stood there on the bar as Elfo slid down from his barstool, staggering for a moment as he landed on the ground. "I won't bother you with my friendship anymore."

No. That feeling wasn't guilt. That would have been stupid. Luci wasn't stupid. "Sounds great to me!" Elfo was a bit stiff as he started walking, like it was the only way he could keep his legs moving. Luci let him get a few steps further before calling out after him. "Hey, Elfo!" He could feel the shift, see the slight flare of hope in the way Elfo's head rose for a second, turning to look back at him from the corner of his eye. Like he'd just been granted some reprieve. Their eyes met for a split second and Luci felt the words in his throat before he could consider whether or not he actually wanted to say them. "This mean's the bet's off, right?"

He saw the flinch. It was a twitch like a rabbit caught in a snare. Elfo's eyes went wide in the few seconds before he snapped his head back around. He didn't continue his slow walk toward the door, instead he darted for it like he wasn't sure he could keep going if he didn't run.

Luci stood there, staring after him. The towel slid from his fingers to land on the counter. For just a moment, he felt his unneeded breath coming hard and he wasn't sure why. He almost followed. It was only when he took a step forward and caught himself that he realized that there were eyes on him. Everyone in the room was looking in his direction. They were probably worried about their bets if this whole thing was called off. Self-serving pricks. Luci bristled for a second under their gaze. "You heard me! The bet's off. The elf basically conceded, so if you voted against me, you're not getting any money!"

There were still other things to take care of. Things that didn't involve the weird feeling in his middle like he was going to puke. _It's the sheer idiocy in the room_ , he assured himself. _That's all it is._ Luci was more than ready to focus on those other things instead of what was going on with Elfo.

_He couldn't think about that right now. What did it mean? Was there any chance that Elfo actually was being sincere about ending their so-called friendship? He could only hope, right?_

He jumped down from the counter and made his way around to the back. The room was remarkably quiet considering he was dealing with a bunch of drunks who'd just been told they weren't getting their coins back. As he'd expected, the trio of thieves-slash-highway people were there waiting for him as he came around. He was smart enough to lock his office at all times, so at least there hadn't been any danger of them getting in and trying to ransack through his stuff... even if there wasn't much chance of them making off with anything, considering he had a safe for his money. Luci unlocked the door and ushered them inside.

"So." He cleared his throat, getting right to it. He didn't want to think too hard on other things. "You say you've got some substances to sell me? You should know that I don't usually do these kinds of small-fry arrangements. I'm more of a bigger-picture middleman." The three exchanged a glance as he talked, but they didn't waver. "That said, I'm a business savvy cat and I am on the lookout for lucrative opportunities. So what have you got for me?"

Again, they looked at each other and Luci set his expectations another notch lower as they leaned in close and had some quick, whispered conversation. "So, what we've got, yeah. It's going to be the big thing in the future. This is no small deal." The leader said, leaning across Luci's desk. "What we've got for you is... potatoes."

Oh. Yeah. In hindsight, Luci felt a little foolish that he hadn't been expecting this from the moment they'd walked into his bar. Potatoes. Of course. These idiots were obsessed with the damn things. He was reminded of how much it had irked him that they'd been planning to sell precious jewels for something as mundane and stupid as potatoes, but he'd also been blasted off his ass at the time so he hadn't done anything but nod and go along with it because it was just such a terrible idea. "Yeah, yeah. Potatoes. They're the next big thing. Weren't they also the last big thing?" Also, their _only_ big thing.

"No," she said, her gaze still astonishingly intent for someone talking about actual potatoes. "You're not getting it, see?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out a potato. There was nothing particularly unique about it. It was literally just a potato. She set it on the desk in front of him where it sat there and was wholly unimpressive. "You can do so much with potatoes. And we found something new that they're good for." She gestured to one of her companions and they passed a flask forward. The other passed her a glass that looked like they might have actually just snagged it from one of the tables in the bar. 

She opened the flask and poured in a slightly muddy substance, filling the glass about a third of the way before she pushed it across the desk toward him. Luci peered down at the liquid inside through narrowed eyes. He was pretty sure that he couldn't actually be poisoned. He'd certainly eaten some positively rancid things before with no ill-effect, but he still wasn't sure what they were going for. His shoulders rose in a shrug and he dragged the glass closer, hoisting it with his tail and taking a quick swig.

It burned a bit going down. A lot, actually. But one thing Luci noticed about it immediately was that it was alcohol and very high proof at that. Moonshine. Potato Moonshine.

_Vokda. Duh._

Somehow it had slipped his mind that potatoes were used in making vodka. But to his credit, it wasn't like he ever expected someone in Dreamland to have the foresight or initiative to actually take potatoes and make them into booze. They barely had a couple brain cells to rub together among the entire kingdom. It was astonishing that this lot, in particular, had managed to do it.

And it was pretty good... actually. In terms of probably accidental moonshine, this was some potent stuff. It wasn't a commodity as valuable as some of the drugs Luci had brokered deals on before, but he was sure that he could easily have found someone who would pay a good price on it. A good price, plus a good kickback on his part for arranging it.

And he'd probably get them to throw in some of the vodka too. It'd be nice to have some personal options at the bar that weren't all swill and rotgut.

Luci tried not to let any of this show as he set the glass back down, looking across his desk at them and steepling his hands. "So this is what you'd like to sell me?" He said, trying not to give any indication of his interest. He was usually great at these kinds of deals, mostly because he was unflappable and could turn on a dime when it came to his lies. But as much as he actually _was_ interested in seeing how much of this stuff they had, it was hard to deny that his mind wasn't fully in the here and now.

Maybe it was just the effects of the alcohol starting to kick in a little, but he kept thinking of Elfo. The elf ran off, all over Luci's attempts to work with these guys. It was such a stupid thing for Elfo to get his shorts in a twist about! Luci dealt with thieves and murderers all the time! So did Elfo, considering Bean had both stolen and killed people with alarming frequency before. Considering all that, who was Elfo to stand in judgment over what he decided to do - and who he decided to do it with? 

And then to just _run off_ like that. It wasn't like Luci really wanted to be friends with him, but Elfo had given up on their so-called friendship awfully easily. 

It was a bit hard to pay attention to what the potato thieves were saying when he was so busy thinking about whether Elfo had been the one to wrong _him_.

Unfortunately for Luci, the thieves weren't stupid enough to completely miss the fact that he wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. They also weren't the most patient sort, which was understandable, given their status as ruffians. There was an annoyed note to the leader's voice as she looked at him. "So are you not interested then? I'm sure we can find someone else."

Luci doubted that. Mostly because most of the people they could have approached about it would have been too stupid to realize just how much they could make on the stuff. Luci would have been making most of the money himself by going outside of Dreamland and selling it as an import to other markets, perhaps with a fancier title. Damn, this was such a good opportunity to underpay these morons for their labour and line his own pockets... why wasn't he more into this? "I've just got to take care of something before I can talk on a deal."

What was he doing?! He wasn't sure why those words had even come out of his mouth. It was the alcohol, it had to be. There was no other reason to blurt out something so absurd. These whack jobs had just happened to make a drink that was capable of getting even a demon tipsy with a minimal amount. 

They were as surprised by his words as he was, apparently, because there was a slight stir and then a lot of heated murmuring between them. "And what's more important than potatoes?" Luci wasn't entirely sure, but he got the sense that their interest was only half related to any perceived slight on his part. Given their usual occupation, they were probably also just wondering whether what Luci was pondering on was something they could sell or trade away for more potatoes. 

_As if._

Luci didn't hate to bust their bubble, but he was a bit too preoccupied to enjoy it properly either. "It's the elf. The green one who was with me earlier. He owes me lots of money." Partial truth. Elfo hadn't actually put money toward their bet, but Luci was annoyed enough at him that he would have been happy to take Elfo for all he was worth just to further prove the point that he'd been right. Besides, it would hopefully be enough to deter them from the conversation for long enough that he could arrange a proper bargaining session later. After all, it wasn't like they would be interested in-

"That little green guy's worth a lot of money?" The bearded one piped up, eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"Okay, but how much money? In terms of how many potatoes he would buy?"

_Okay... maybe he'd underestimated just what they'd try for the sake of getting more potatoes. Weirdos._

The leader looked between her two companions and Luci. She too had a gleam in her eye that the demon wasn't particularly thrilled to see. He didn't need them to get some stupid notions... he just needed them to come back after he'd dealt with Elfo and this whole stupid 'non-friendship' thing. "So, what you're sayin' is that the lil' green guy is worth lots of potatoes to you, yeah?"

"What?" Luci sputtered. "No-"

But they'd already made up their minds. Their empty, beady little minds. 

"Well, if you're not gonna buy this amazing potato juice from us, then we'll just have to get our money some other way." She said, turning toward the door. The other two were already leaving as Luci finally got up the wherewithal to jump up on the desk. "Let's go get that green guy. We're almost out of the last few bags!" 

For ignorant dumbasses, they were remarkably quick. It didn't help that Luci's lunge off the desk was more clumsy than usual - stupid high-proof vodka!. He jumped and instead of coming down easily on his feet, his paw slipped out from beneath him as he landed, sending him crashing to the floor, nose-first. It took him a few seconds to shake off being stunned, time that the potato thieves used to beat a retreat.

As he pushed himself to his feet, he tried to reassure himself. It wasn't like they knew where to find Elfo, or where Elfo even was -

_Or who Elfo even was_

\- so surely their attempts to snag him for his money wouldn't work. Right?

_Right._

But just telling himself that did nothing to reassure him about the reality of the situation. No one really needed Elfo getting kidnapped _yet again_. Luci cursed under his breath as he darted out to the main area of the bar, leaping clumsily onto the counter and rising to his full, diminutive height. "Okay. Bar's closed everyone!" When no one responded with anything more than blank stares, he let out the most fearsome roar he could manage. "I said get the hell out! _Now!_ " Finally they started to move, though still too slowly for Luci's liking.

He slammed the door shut after the last of them had left, with a fair amount of prodding from him. The place was a mess, even more so than usual, but that barely registered. He needed to track down Elfo before those idiots got their hands on him and realized he wasn't as wealthy as advertised. Who knew what they'd do with him at that point.

_Probably sell him for more potatoes._

Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good though. Stupid Elfo, getting him into these situations. When Luci tracked him down, he was definitely going to...

Well, he'd do something about it, that was for sure.

He just didn't know what.

-


	4. Chapter 4

-

There really wasn't any good reason to follow them after they left to go find Elfo. It was costing him valuable business since he had to shut down and chase off the entire patronage of the bar in order to actually pursue them. What difference did it make if they got their hands on Elfo anyway? It wasn't like he owed the elf anything, especially not after the whole debacle he'd been put through just to derail Elfo's stupid little notion that he was "good" or something. Following or trying to warn Elfo would have been the stupidest thing he could have possibly do.

And yet...

"Alright! Time's up. Get your asses out!" Luci bellowed at the top of his lungs as he stood straight and tall on the counter. This earned him some groggy, mostly-drunk glares but the majority of the people weren't really in any shape to be protesting his whims. Plus if they decided to get troublesome, he could easily have denied them booze in the future and there wasn't a resident in Dreamland who had a happy enough life that they were going to risk being cut off. So it took a little while - mostly because of trouble navigating to the door - but Luci did manage to shove them all out, at last, slamming the door behind the last straggler.

During the entire process, Luci had been trying to convince himself that there was no way he was considering this. It was stupid. He _knew_ it was stupid. Elfo was going to be ungrateful anyway. It was going to make him appear weak. 

And yet, no matter what compelling reasons ran through his head, he couldn't bring himself to actually stop. He locked the door and rushed around to the back, ignoring the mess in the place. As he eased out through the back door, he put his nose to the air, wrinkling it as he caught a whiff of some of his less hygienic patrons. He wasn't looking for them though, instead seeking out a scent he knew far too well. There was only one person he knew the smell of as well as he knew Bean's smell... and he never had to use such mundane means to find where Bean was anyway. The slight smell of candy was uniquely Elfo. Even though the other elves also had a vaguely similar scent, there was just something different about Elfo that made him easy for Luci to follow.

He thought it was likely that Elfo was just going to go back to their apartment, it was what he usually did when he was in a mood. But he hadn't been willing to risk it, following the scent instead. Sure enough, it led him right back to their place, but he could tell something was amiss as he drew near.

...it would have taken a fool or a Dreamlander to not notice what was wrong, considering there was a big chunk of their apartment wall missing, as though someone had just reached into the window and ripped out a significant portion of the building while trying to pull someone out of the apartment. That was frustrating because Luci was pretty sure getting a giant human fist rammed through the wall wasn't covered in their renter's insurance.

Oh yeah. And they'd also kidnapped Elfo. There was that too.

"Stupid Elfo and your stupid getting kidnapped every other day." Luci cursed under his breath. And most of the time, it wasn't even Luci's fault that it happened. It was just that the elf had terrible luck and maybe some kind of invisible "Kidnap me" sign on his back. He sure didn't still have the actual "Kidnap me" sign that Luci used to put on him up until the second or third time he'd been taken. 

So maybe this time it _was_ kinda his fault but who could blame him? He hadn't known that those three idiots were so unhinged that they'd actually think kidnapping Elfo would accomplish something! And since he was a demon, it wasn't like he had to feel guilty about anything anyway. And yet...

Luci was furious as he paced, nose to the air again, trying to find that elusive scent and having a difficult time focusing enough for it. he finally caught a whiff of it after a few minutes of scuttling back and forth in front of their apartment, completely ignoring a couple of the other residents who were milling about in their nightclothes and giving him strange looks. He whipped past them, barely sparing a sneer in their general direction as he made his way down the streets, toward the even seedier back alleys nearer to the plague pit.

That's where he finally found them. Not by Elfo's scent this time, it was drowned out by the smell of decay and filthy bodies. No, it was the mouldy odour of rotting potatoes that catches his attention and he can't think of many other people who would possibly have collected enough potatoes in this neighbourhood that they'd go rotten instead of being completely eaten. As he drew near, he dropped to a crouch, despite being short enough that he couldn't be easily seen by the window anyway. He jumped up on the sill, clinging to the dark edges and peering beneath the boarded-up entryway. 

That was definitely Elfo's voice, he could identify it before he could even see the details of the room and its occupants. No one else had that high shrill whine and as he peeked in, he could see the elf tied up securely - perhaps too securely considering Elfo's body was so covered in ropes that the only thing visible was his small green head peeking out at the top. 

"I don't know what you want!" Elfo wailed, squirming in his bonds.

"It's about the gold, see." The one thief was saying, in a level tone. Her gaze was fixed steadily on Elfo as he gave the boards a careful wiggle to see how well they were nailed in place. As expected, they were rickety and could have easily been pulled off. His paws gripped at the material before he forced himself to pause, his ears flicking back for a second as he wrinkled his nose. His ear twitched slightly as he looked in again while they were talking. "We were told you had lots of it."

"That's right!" One of the other two piped up. "And lots of gold, yeah. We hear it can buy lots and lots of potatoes."

"P-potatoes?" Luci was actually surprised that Elfo hadn't clued in on the identities of these three idiots. He and Bean might have been high the first time they'd been betrayed by this particular group but by all accounts they'd run into them again while rushing to Luci's rescue. Still, Elfo wasn't always the most observant person and he was kind of tied up and freaked out. "I don't know what potatoes cost."

While they were having this idiotic back and forth - and god damn, who cared this much about potatoes when they were holding onto a goldmine? Luci knew that Elfo had some significant hidden stashes of cash, the greedy little bastard and if Luci had been the one holding him captive-

He shook his head. The rest of his reservations about this whole idea were starting to come to the forefront. Elfo was perfectly fine. Sure, he'd probably get strongarmed out of a significant amount of cash, but it wasn't like he didn't have it to spare. There was no need for Luci to even be here, especially since actually rescuing Elfo -

_Good god, had he actually considered **rescuing** Elfo? What was he thinking?_

\- well it would have gone entirely against the point of what he was trying to prove to Elfo anyway. He didn't go around doing good things for people. He didn't _rescue_ anyone. _Not anymore, anyway._ And he especially didn't try and rescue ungrateful little bastards like Elfo, not even if they were roommates and possibly... _technically_ friends or something. 

Besides, it hadn't even been 24 hours. He definitely couldn't rescue Elfo before it had been at least 24 hours, just in case their bet was still on somehow. He didn't want to lose! Thinking about it, it made the most sense for him to go away for a while, maybe to the palace because his room was totally trashed with a giant hole in the wall and he didn't want to have to wake up and see elves outside. He could spend a night sleeping on a cushion in Bean's room and then come back in the morning, well after their bet was finally concluded. If Elfo hadn't given in to their demands - or somehow escaped - by then, Luci could begrudgingly rescue him.

It was a good plan. He had to hand it to himself. It accomplished everything he wanted to accomplish with a minimum of misinterpretations about his demonic - and thus evil - nature.

Luci hopped down from the windowsill, pattering back and forth in front of the house as he contemplated how he was going to remember his way back here, in case he did ultimately have to rescue the idiot later. He pulled a blunt out, lighting the tip with his tail and taking a few puffs before coming back to the door. Bringing his still smouldering tail-tip up, he scratched a few letters into the bottom of the wooden door. There. That would be easily noticeable for his return. Letting out another billowing curl of smoke between his teeth, Luci pulled the blunt away and rubbed it out against his side before stopping for one final peek into the window.

He was climbing up again when he froze at the sound of a shrill cry of pain. Elfo was whiny, sure, but he was also stupidly tough when it came to physical injury and he often endured a lot of things most people would have considered to be outright tortures with only the slightest whimper or grunt. Luci's ears went back flat as he shoved his face firmly to the gap in the wood, peering inside while his claws dug into the sill hard enough to leave shallow gouges. He barely noticed them, all of his attention was focused inward.

"He doesn't have the gold, he says." One thief muttered and Luci's gaze was drawn to the hand that the skinny gender-neutral rogue dropped to their waistband, eye caught on the gleam of metal as they drew the blade. Luci's own breath emerged in a long hiss at the sight of it. Oh yeah. Being Dreamlanders and stupid humans, these idiots were still dangerous. Hell, they were probably more dangerous because of how little sense they had. But what were they thinking? It wasn't like Elfo would have _swallowed_ his money or something! "But didn't they say that elves are worth money?"

Had Luci said that at some point? He couldn't recall. His claws were clenching hard in the windowsill, digging grooves in the wood. 

What was the worst that could happen? If they sold Elfo to someone? It wasn't like he and Bean hadn't rescued the dumbass before. After going to Hell, just tracking down some rando who'd purchased an elf from this trio of idiots would be child's play.

"Their blood's worth money, yeah." Their leader repeated. "And maybe the other bits too. We can just cut 'im up convenient-like and then sell in batches."

Well... that scuttled Luci's plan to wait it out. If these guys had it in their head to actually carve Elfo up like a roast and auction him off in chunks, it was going to be awfully difficult to find all the parts of him. Also, Elfo might have been a hardy little bastard, but Luci was fairly sure that he could only be vivisected so much before he ceased being alive, and after the last trip to Hell, he wasn't sure they'd be able to get back there if the elf really bit it. "God damn it," Luci grumbled, letting his anger surge and drown out the more squishy and uncomfortable feeling in his belly at the prospect of Elfo being knocked off by these twerps.

He pressed his paws to the wooden planks of the window, squeezing his dark muzzle against the relatively small opening. Even without his powers, his form was still far more malleable than the average mortal creature and as soon as his head was inside, the rest of him followed with a soft _bewoop_ that fortunately wasn't loud enough to actually catch the attention of the thieves who were all far too focused on Elfo to notice his presence. It was a good thing too because Luci hadn't exactly considered how he was going to rescue Elfo until he was in the midst of things. As he stood there, mentally straining over the options while Elfo wriggled and thrashed with the humans getting closer, he was at a bit of a loss.

Sure, he could have taken them on. There were three of them, but he was a dirty fighter at the best of times. If he'd still been immortal, if he'd still had the majority of his powers, he would have been able to do something-

The tip of his own tail came into view with a lazy swish and he batted it away for a second before he blinked and brought it back around. The very tip of it was still lit, smouldering a bit. Luci was still mostly immune to fire - or at least he hadn't found that brief encounters with it did too much to him, though he hadn't quite been willing to test out the extent of his resistance to it. Making fire was hard, but he could maintain it a little while in the spade of his tail, which he tended to do in case he ever needed a light. Just a quick shove of his tail into the hearth was usually enough to keep a bit of a spark for a while. And there was still one now, though it was rapidly weakening. That didn't matter though. What mattered what that he had an _idea_.

Ducking back into the shadows, Luci made his way along the edge of the room toward the fireplace. The fire inside wasn't impressive, but it was probably because they were trying to make it last for longer. Luci wrapped his tail around the nearby pile of broken chair legs and flotsam and tossed them into the fire. As he breathed on it, big guests of moving air, the sparks surged up into actual flames, helped along by the insistent prodding of his tail. 

Behind him, Elfo was still whining and Luci was a little bolstered by the fact that he hadn't actually started screaming yet, which meant they probably hadn't inflicted any damage more serious than Elfo was used to from his months in Sorcerio's tender care. Luci turned to face them finally, the fire centred behind him. 

It was an old trick. A cheap trick. But an effective one, for all that. The fire behind him cast Luci's shadow over the trio of thieves, much larger than his actual meagre stature. He loomed, as best he could, trying to angle his shadow so it looked like he was actually interacting with the thieves in question. "You have been cursed!" He boomed out, the old familiar tune. "From the deepest depths of the underworld!" Pressing his blunt briefly to his lips, he took a deep pull at it, then let his breath out in a rolling puff of smoke that blew across the room. The thieves didn't even look at the real Luci, too caught up in staring at his much larger projection on the wall. 

"T-that's an evil creature-" one of them hissed, quickly snatching for a nearby back of potatoes while simultaneously trying to make for the door.

Luci laughed, loud and hissing, because it'd been a long while since he'd been shown the respect a demon deserved. Mortals were always comparing him to a stupid animal, an annoying habit. They couldn't see the truth of his nature and for the most part he had to keep it that way for Bean's protection and his own. _Especially now_. But it felt good to stretch himself out, to let someone else be aware of his power, of the sheer wickedness in them. He was an evil creature, damn it. That was what all of this had been about! He was tired of being mistaken for something lesser. Something good.

He was _Luci_. He was a demon!

"I _am_ evil!" He snapped at them, hot with triumph, and with the actual heat of the fireplace behind him warming his fur. But mostly it was triumph. "Anger me at your peril!"

For as stupid as humans generally were - and these three, in particular - Luci was amazed that they had enough self-preservation to listen to him and actually turn tail. They took a fair amount of random potatoes with them, though even more clattered onto the floor, slipping free of the thieves' grasp in their haste. As the last one scuttled out the door and down the street, Luci stood there, his breath still coming a bit hard even as his ringing laughter finally faded.

Elfo's eyes were on him, he could feel it. He briefly considered if he should just leave it at that, let Elfo find his own damn way home. But the thieves weren't likely to stay gone forever and Elfo was tied so securely with ropes that Luci wasn't sure he'd be able to wiggle out of them, no matter how squirmy and sweaty he got. Luci took a couple of steps forward, his gaze locked with Elfo's for a second, just daring him to make some comment, to bring up what he knew Luci didn't want to hear. If Elfo had actually said anything, he would have gotten a sharp slap across the face, if Luci hadn't just decided to leave him there instead. But maybe Elfo had a little bit of sense to him because he said nothing, not even as Luci slashed his claws across the ropes, severing them with an ease that Elfo's blunt fingers would never have been able to manage.

"Luci..." Elfo finally said, his voice a bit shaky. "You came for me." 

What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn't deny it when it was obvious, but he didn't really want to admit to it either. His ears went back and he let out a small scoff, hoping that it would serve where the words couldn't. "Don't get used to it." It was all he could manage and even that was hard to prod past his clenched teeth.

It wasn't like he made coming to Elfo's rescue a regular thing. Other than just now. And the time he'd gone to Hell to bring him back. And the time they'd gone to the Enchanted Forest to find him. And the time they went after Big Jo...

_God damn it._

He didn't give Elfo the opportunity to talk further about Luci's mildly-heroic deed, only turning on his heel and padding toward the open door. "Come on. I've got better things to do than hang around in this dump." Like hanging around in the dump that was their now wall-less apartment? Luci grimaced at the thought but he kept his feet going as fast as he could manage, forcing Elfo to expend the energy to scuttle after him as quickly as possible.

-


	5. Chapter 5

-

It wasn't so late that Luci couldn't have tried to open the bar again. There were plenty of drunks looking to drop in after midnight. It wasn't like there was much else to do in Dreamland at this hour. But while Luci considered it - more for the fact that he didn't want to spend a lot of time in Elfo's company without other people around, he ultimately rejected the idea. But that left the dilemma that they really couldn't head back to their apartment either, especially not with the place in this state. So that didn't leave many options. Luci paused in the street, back when they hit the road near Elf Alley, hesitating as he looked down the dark alley. His ears went back for a second.

His delay gave Elfo enough time to catch up with him, panting slightly as he drew to a halt behind Luci. Maybe he caught the gist of what Luci was thinking. He'd been present when the humans had smashed in the wall to their place, after all. He hesitated, looking around. "Luci." He began and though Luci wanted to forestall any questions, there really wasn't much he could say. After everything that had already happened today, he was drawing a blank on words. He'd been overtaxed. He blamed it on having to actually expend the energy to - ugh - rescue someone. Elfo had the opportunity to just continue unchecked. "Maybe we should go to the palace."

It made sense. More than he would have expected from Elfo of all people. While they didn't drop in on Bean for the evening often, she'd certainly never taken back any previous invitation to hang out with her. And it had been a while... Luci had no idea what kind of arrangement Elfo could possibly have for staying with Bean because there as no way in hell the princess as going to let him sleep in her bed. He'd probably just get a couple of blankets on the floor. Luci already had dibs on Bean's pillow so he was set. 

"Yeah." He said, grimacing a little. It was a good thing he'd chosen to keep all of his valuables locked up in the vault in the bar rather than risk storing them at their crappy little apartment. He just couldn't trust elves to not rifle through his shit and he had plenty of things he preferred that they keep their grubby little fingers out of. "Let's go." Luci didn't give Elfo a chance to add more to his point, especially didn't want him to have the opportunity to really consider that Luci had come to his rescue when he definitely hadn't needed to.

The walk to the castle was all uphill and they went only about half the way before Luci elected to climb up onto Elfo's back, perching half on his shoulder and half braced on the elf's big green head. The added weight made Elfo stumble for a moment, but he didn't actually fall, only giving Luci an affronted little look that the demon steadfastly ignored.

He also didn't push Luci off, the way he could have and it was hard to tell if it was because Elfo was just a pushover or because he was feeling guilty about all the effort Luci had put through to rescue him from those potato creeps.

_And if it was the latter, then it was a bit too late, wasn't it? Where had the gratitude been when Luci had been literally marching into Hell to save Elfo's whiny green ass? Nowhere._

When Elfo slowed down, Luci prodded at him and kept him going forward.

-

Bean didn't ask questions, but she was a little on the tipsy side when they arrived. If she was at all surprised by the fact that her two companions decided to climb up to her window and then wiggle into her room, she gave no hint of it. Truthfully, it was such a familiar action that there was something almost soothing about it. Bean was generous enough to drag one of the spare blankets out from her dresser and drop it onto the floor for Elfo to curl up on. It was a situation that might have been unpleasant for the elf, except that even one of Bean's blankets was so much nicer than anything they had back in their apartment in Elf Alley that it was hard to complain. Elfo flopped onto it gratefully and dozed off quickly enough. Maybe he'd just been worn out by the scare back in the potato thieves crappy little hideout, the prospect of dying _again_ probably hadn't been a pleasant one. Even so, Luci never failed to be unpleasantly impressed by his ability to just pass out without needing to resort to booze or copious amounts of insomnia.

As Luci hopped up on the bed, Bean looked at him from the corner of her eye before passing him her flask. He took a nip at it before looking over the edge to check on Elfo. He told himself that it was just him making sure that the idiot was actually asleep before badmouthing him to Bean, but there was some small part of him that was also just making sure Elfo was actually _there_. Sure, it was unlikely he'd be kidnapped from Bean's room in the few minutes they'd been there, but he also somehow found ways to get himself kidnapped a lot, so it was best to be safe. Once Luci settled back into place, stretched on his side on Bean's pillow, Bean finally piped up.

"Everything okay?" She asked, letting Luci take a few more nips at her whisky before she retrieved the flask herself, ignoring his grumbling. "You don't usually come up here anymore. Especially not both of you." There was something a little wistful in her voice and Luci was briefly buffeted by a wash of Bean's own emotions which he had to quickly clamp down on. He was already confused enough about everything without having to deal with Bean's feelings too. 

She missed them, that was obvious. Luci suspected that, _deep down_ , he probably missed her too. It was different to be so far apart from her. Sure, he could have stayed in the palace, everyone still pretty much thought he was her cat and no one would have blinked if he'd spent all of his nights curled on her pillow. It wasn't like the unease they showed to Elfo's presence. 

But Elfo hadn't been able to stay in the palace and who knew what trouble he would have gotten into without someone there to keep an eye on him. Luci could do that for Bean, make sure that she didn't have to deal with the distractions that always came with leaving the elf to his own devices. So he really hadn't had any choice beside tricking Elfo into moving in with him and paying the rent on their new shared space. It made perfect sense.

"Our apartment got wrecked." Luci simplified, not wanting to have to explain what had happened. He wasn't going to say that he'd gone after Elfo, that he'd deliberately put forth the effort to save him when he'd been in danger. He didn't like showing anything that could be mistaken for weakness or sentiment. But Bean's hand reached out, fingers brushing at the fur along the back of his head in a stroking motion that he would have been more pissed about if it didn't always feel so damn nice. It was soothing and he felt himself start to relax under her touch. He let out his breath in a sigh. "We might need to stay a couple of days until they put the wall back in."

"The wall? What?" Bean raised a hand to rub at her temples and then made what was probably the wisest decision she could have. "Never mind. I don't want to know." She shook her head, fingers still carding through his fur. The sensation made him close his eyes for a moment, his paws rubbing against the pillow in a way that was distinctly non-catlike. "You can stay as long as you need." There was a pause after that, like she wanted to say something more and then didn't. 

Luci drifted off, tail flicking lazily in the blankets.

-

The next morning brought with it the issues left over from the night before. Mostly related to the status of their bet and the way Elfo was going to react to being rescued. Neither of them came up immediately upon waking so Luci allowed himself a foolish moment of hope - ugh - that maybe it was all swept under the rug and would be forgotten by the time they had to head back to survey the mess that was left of their apartment. Luci had every intention of leaving that to Elfo, not just because it would mean trying to talk with their elf landlord, never a fun prospect, but also because it would distract Elfo from spending time with him at the bar and perhaps being reminded that Luci had actually come after him. Knowing the elf, he'd probably get all mushy over it and that was always annoying as hell.

As they went back down toward Elf Alley, Elfo was tagging behind him closer than he liked. Even just from his peripheral vision he could tell that the elf was fidgeting, that he wanted to say something. That was exactly the situation that Luci wanted to avoid at any cost. He sped up his steps a little more, forcing Elfo to try and catch up with him. 

"Luci-" Elfo finally panted out. "Can you slow down a little?" Despite the fact that his legs were longer than Luci's, that he was taller than Luci, there wasn't really a good chance of him keeping up if the demon really wanted to shake him. Luci was infernally fast, even now. He sped up a little more anyway, just to prove that he could, then finally gave in and slowed his pace, just a tiny bit.

As they reached the junction where Luci would normally head to his bar, he flicked his tail in the direction of their apartment. "I'm going to the bar."

Elfo came to a stumbling halt. "What? You're not coming with me?" His voice was shaky and Luci wasn't sure if it was because he was upset or if he was just having difficulty breathing after having dashed a few blocks. 

"I have work," Luci said, as though work ethic had ever been a thing that really mattered to him. He knew that even Elfo wasn't buying that, but he definitely wasn't going to go into more detail. Instead, he didn't give Elfo the opportunity to question further. "Look, the longer you delay, the longer we'll have to sleep on Bean's floor." He thought better of that approach a little too late. Knowing Elfo, he probably would have been fine sleeping on the floor of Bean's room for the foreseeable future. Luci cursed his lack of foresight and changed tactics. "She'll get tired of us hanging around. So let's just get this done. And by us... I mean you." He turned on his heel and marched in the direction of the bar at a pace designed to get him out of eye and earshot of Elfo as quickly as possible.

It worked well enough. Elfo called out after him, but he completely missed hearing whatever the elf was trying to say to him which meant that it didn't really matter in the end.

-

He settled in at the bar. It turned out it was a good thing that he'd elected to come in early to the bar. He'd been in a rush the previous night so it meant he was stuck cleaning up the mess leftover from the previous evening. It was another thing he could blame Elfo for. If he hadn't had to go to the rescue, he wouldn't have been stuck in this situation. Cleaning up dried beer and vomit was way harder than cleaning it up when it was fresh.

He focused on his task, to the exclusion of all else. He was so caught up that he barely noticed when Elfo showed up again.

And Elfo wasn't the only one. There were already people waiting outside. It seemed like it had all taken a lot longer than he'd anticipated. He'd been too caught up in his own thoughts - or trying to ignore them, anyway - to notice that they were marching into the afternoon hours. His bet with Elfo was officially over, but that didn't make him feel better for some reason. 

Because he hadn't gotten a concession yet. Not a definite one. As long as Elfo didn't actually say that Luci'd won, there was still the chance that he could go back on his earlier forfeit of things.

It was enough to make Luci tense when the elf moved to approach the bar. But Elfo didn't actually bring it up, just scrambling up onto a stool and plopping himself down. There were other people coming in too, staring in Luci's direction warily, as if expecting him to decide to throw another fit and kick them out again. He wasn't though. It wasn't good for business. Still, he kept darting gazes at Elfo, expecting that he was going to bring up the events of the previous evening and finding himself getting more and more paranoid when it didn't happen. Elfo just kept smiling at him like he was happy or something, while Luci set out drinks and tried to ignore it.

By the time an hour or so had passed, Luci was about ready to claw through the walls. What possible reason could Elfo have to be holding this over his head? He made his way back to the counter after passing out another round of drinks, walking on stiff legs. Then Elfo cleared his through and Luci felt a simultaneous surge of relief and panic. There it was. It was coming.

"Luci." Elfo looked down at him and Luci steeled himself, hopping back onto the bar top with none of his usual ease. Still, he couldn't ignore Elfo when the elf was actually trying to talk to him. He always just got more persistent until people were annoyed enough to look at him. Luci decided to skip past the annoyingness and just fixed his gaze on Elfo, as steadily as he could, waiting for the elf to try and lord his weakness over him. Elfo smiled, though it wasn't the smug look that Luci had expected. 

"What?" He snapped, a bit hoarse.

"I just wanted to thank you." Elfo said. He wasn't addressing anyone else, wasn't shouting out about how Luci had lost the bet by running to his rescue. In fact, for Elfo, this was positively tactful. Who would have thought he was even capable of it? "For yesterday. Y'know." 

Elfo's sly hinting around it was too much for Luci to take. There was no way he was going to stand here and be _thanked_ without doing something about it. And the only thing he could do was bring this whole farce to a quick end. "Fine! You win!" Elfo stared at him, stunned, as he banged his foot against the countertop, trying to get the attention of the few patrons in the bar. "This moron won our bet, okay!" Even as the words came out, Luci was oddly transfixed by Elfo's face, remembering the look of excitement and gratitude after he'd scared off the trio of thieves and saved Elfo's miserable life. It was the kind of expression he'd been hoping to see a lot earlier for things a lot more badass than using his shadow casting trick to scare a few lowlifes. Though Luci's ire was still up, he found his tone softening a little anyway. "You won. Maybe there's..." Dear god, how could he even say it? The words caught in his craw and he had to force them out. "Maybe I can _sometimes_ have a fit of temporary insanity and lose my mind enough to do something _mildly_ good." 

There were a few mild grumbles from the still-not-drunk-enough patrons, probably ones who had bet on him in the whole betting pool. Luci had honestly expected there would have been more wagers on him, considering he was the more badass of the two and besides, he was the one who had the better reputation among the Dreamland residents - humans and elves alike. He would have been more miffed, but at least the lack of response meant he wasn't going to be running into as much harassment. Maybe it would die quietly when the next big humiliating thing came up... hopefully at Elfo's expense.

The only real trouble was Elfo, who was smiling at him even more widely than before. It was enough to make Luci want to simultaneously smack him across the face and also indulge in some of his own booze.

_Stupid cute smile._

A little shudder ran through Luci as the words crossed his mind. There was no way he was going to follow that train of thought to the end of the line. He wasn't sure he'd like where it led... Especially if it involved any of the soft emotions that Luci wasn't even fond of dealing with in other people. In himself they would have truly been unbearable. "I hope you're happy now." Luci grumbled instead, dragging his thoughts back to the moment at hand.

"Yeah, actually." Elfo beamed. "It's good to know you care."

And of course, the fool couldn't even at least give Luci the satisfaction of being focused on his victory in their bet instead of stupid sentimental nonsense like this. But it was Elfo... and Luci hadn't really expected anything else either. He turned his head away. "Well, don't get used to it. It's not really my thing."

"Of course!" Elfo chirped back in a way that was not a concession at all. Luci's ears went back and he decided to handle it in the most mature way possible. He ignored Elfo for the next several minutes and then _accidentally_ tipped over a glass of beer that splattered across the counter and spilled over the edge onto Elfo's shorts. The elf sputtered, throwing him a stare. "Luci!"

"Accidents happen." Luci shrugged. And if people are too loud and distracting and smug, they can happen more often. He leaned over, not trusting Elfo to really get his subtle warning. "And by that I mean... shut up about all of this or you'll get worse than a beer stain on your crotch." He flicked his tail in a manner that slapped the spade against Elfo's cheek, then strutted off toward the other side of the bar while Elfo slid out of his chair and hobbled off toward the bathroom.

-

Luci figured that was that. As long as Elfo didn't bring it up again, he could just ply his patrons with booze and drugs until they completely forgot any potentially embarrassing details about the past day or so. It was the best-case scenario for him after just winning. He was already well on his way toward putting it out of his mind when he got an unwelcome reminder of it.

A shadow fell across the bar. No, three shadows, right over where Luci was standing. He paused, looking up into three familiar and unwelcome faces. His eye got big for a second, his feet shuffling on the counter as he took an automatic step back at the sight of the trio who had just boldly marched up to his bar. He wasn't sure if they recognized him, most of what they'd seen from the previous night's rescue had been Luci's shadow, which was a lot larger and more intimidating than the demon himself. They surely knew he was the guy they'd been talking to before, about their homemade vodka, but he couldn't be sure they were here for anything more dangerous than wanting to follow up on their attempts to sell him booze.

That notion was dispelled with the first words to leave the leader's lips. "So you're the runt who showed up at our hideout last night." She said, crossing her arms. "You're a lot smaller than I remember." 

Great. So they were probably here to try and rob him or _punish_ him for his rescue of Elfo the previous night. It was yet another example of why Luci should never get involved in doing good deeds. They weren't worth the effort and they inevitably winded up backfiring on him in ways that did nothing but make his own life worse. First Hell and the loss of his powers and immortality... and now these dumbasses who were undoubtedly going to kick the shit out of him and mess up his place. 

_Great. Just great._

Well, there was always the chance that Luci could intimate them again. Just because he was small didn't mean that he couldn't be scary. Hell, the fact that he was a demon was probably terrifying enough for most humans to pee their pants... or would have been if they'd known it instead of assuming he was just a weird little cat thing. Luci drew himself up straight, trying to not look like he was intimidated by the fact that he was outnumbered. If Bean and Elfo had managed to beat these mooks, there was no reason he couldn't take care of them by himself!

Speak of the elf... no sooner had the thought crossed Luci's mind, then Elfo came back around the counter. Luci tensed automatically, expecting that the trio of thieves would be more interested in the elf than they were in him. There wasn't exactly anyone between them and the door, so if they chose to grab Elfo and make a run for it, there was little Luci would have been able to do to stop them. On the plus side... it would mean that he wouldn't have to worry about getting pummeled... but that would also have totally defeated the purpose of his stupid good deed in the first place. There was no way he wanted to seem like an even further pushover by rescuing Elfo _a second time_!

He wasn't sure how he was going to intervene, only have the vague impression that he needed to do something while he still could. He started to scramble across the counter toward Elfo, perhaps with the intent to grab hold of him before this group could. He was in the middle of this mad dash when Elfo noticed the trio. Luci might have expected - or hoped, at least - that Elfo would turn tail and run at the danger, to show even a modicum of self-preservation, but instead, he turned toward them like the cheerful little trusting idiot he was.

"Oh! It's you potato guys!"

"Potato people." One of them corrected him, what seemed to be an automatic response.

"Right. Potato people. Hi again. I'm still Elfo!" Luci felt a surge of confusion through him. Sure, Elfo was stupid. Sure he was naive and trusting. But considering these potato _people_ had tied him up and threatened to cut him into bloody little pieces of elf to sell to the highest bidders, it seemed like even Elfo should have been wary of standing around and having a casual conversation with them on the proper terminology. But while Luci's head was still swimming with the possible implications, Elfo only made it worse by opening his mouth and talking even more utter nonsense. "I didn't think you'd come in so early!"

What? Why were they talking like they were just having some kind of friendly interaction? Where was the anger? The greed? The attempt to jump Elfo and tuck him into a sack so they could dismember him? Luci skidded to a halt in mid jump and his feet tangled beneath him, sending him crashing to the counter, muzzle first, barking his large dark nose against the polished wood. He lay there for a second, ear twitching, before bracing his paws against the bartop and pushing himself upright enough that he could look between the trio and Elfo. "What-" He began, wheezed for a moment as he shuffled into a sitting position. "What's going on here?"

His question finally got Elfo's attention back on him where it belonged and the elf smiled at him, reaching up a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "O-oh! Luci. Yeah. I forgot to tell you."

Luci's eyes narrowed. There was still a lot of confusion about what exactly was going on, but there were pieces starting to click into place enough that Luci was starting to suspect that there was more here at play than he'd been told. "What did you forget to tell me?" He gritted out past his clenched teeth. "What the hell is going on?" He hated having to repeat himself, his tail lashed behind him in short angry flicks that Elfo caught sight of.

Elfo shuffled a little, as though finally realizing that Luci was rapidly careening into actually _pissed off_ territory. He was smart enough that he didn't risk a fight by not answering, but in all honesty, his answer just made things even more confusing. "They're okay, Luci. They're not here to cause any trouble!"

He'd been starting to suspect that, or at least that they didn't actually want to grab Elfo again, because they hadn't tried to and Elfo had been standing there as an easy and open target they could have grabbed hold of at any time. But that didn't explain why they were here if it wasn't to engage in some elfnapping. None of this made any sense at all. 

"Then what are they here for?" He growled out.

"We already told you, yeah. We're here to sell our potato liquor." The dark-skinned leader pulled the flask from her belt and waved it at Luci. The demon scowled a little because this entire conversation was giving him a sense of deja vu. Hadn't they been talking about this the previous day when the three of them had decided to go kidnap Elfo in the first place? Why would they be back and expecting him to give them a better deal now? Especially considering he'd had to go confront them to save his... not-friend.

_Ugh. His friend. As much as he hated to admit it, it was true._

_ At least that was all there was to it. Just friends. That was the sum total of their relationship and fortunately there was nothing that would change that fact. Not that Luci wanted to. Just being friends with Elfo was bad enough without throwing any other kind of messy feelings that he definitely wasn't experiencing into it. _

"Look, about the vodka-"

"We prefer the term Potato Juice." Like that even mattered? Really?

"About the vodka-" Luci continued through gritted teeth, "Look, we had this conversation yesterday! Before you people decided to kidnap my... elf... over there. Why do you think I'd listen now?"

The sound of Elfo clearing his throat was enough to catch Luci's attention. It was right about then that some pieces started falling into place. But they refused to coalesce into some kind of complete image. Nothing about this made any sense. There was some piece he was missing. His fur was standing on end a little as he looked at Elfo, only to find that the elf was shuffling slightly where he stood and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was still damp from the booze Luci had _accidentally_ splashed on his crotch. "I told them you would." Elfo said at last, his voice so soft that even Luci's sensitive ears had to strain to hear.

"...you did what?"

"I told them you'd listen." Elfo reached up a hand, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I... may have kinda promised to put in a good word for them."

It was such a nonsensical statement that it refused to fully register in Luci's brain for several more seconds and when it finally did, Luci sat down on the edge of the bar, feigning a calm he definitely wasn't feeling. "And why would you do that?"

Elfo's face darkened at that, Luci recognized it as his equivalent of a blush, but way greener. He fidgeted with the front of his shirt, plucking at the fabric with his fingers and managing to look everywhere but at Luci. He dipped his chin a bit until his mouth was almost lost in the neckline of his shirt and mumbled something unintelligible.

Well now. That was interesting. Elfo didn't normally have any trouble blurting out the most stupid things, at least when it didn't come to stuff like his feelings for Bean. So that meant one of two things...either this was a _feelings_ thing... and considering the circumstances, it could only have been feelings toward Luci, which seemed unlikely...

_If only..._

...or Elfo'd been caught in some kind of fibbing and was embarrassed to admit to it because he tried to pretend he was actually some kind of saint. That was the more likely possibility of the two and the one that Luci chose to fixate on. The other one wasn't worth thinking about... not even if he'd wanted to.

"What was that?" Luci asked flatly. "Try actually enunciating, damn it."

"I..." Elfo coughed, "Imayhavetoldthemthatsoyoudrescueme"

Well, that had been just as informative as the last attempt. But Luci had distinctly heard the word 'rescue' in that particular string of gibberish. He narrowed his eye at that. Something about this whole situation stunk to high heaven. If Luci didn't know better, he would have suspected that he was being played in some fashion... 

"One more time." He said, and this time there was no humour in his tone. It was rare that Luci didn't resort to sarcasm or little digs when talking, so it must have been obvious that he was very serious. He could tell he'd gotten his point across because of the way Elfo was trying even more desperately to retreat into the neck of his shirt like some kind of deformed turtle.

"I told them," Elfo said, finally, the words dragged out, almost pained. 

"...You told them what?"

Elfo's eyes were big. "That you'd rescue me."

It was starting to make sense. Except for one thing. "They were threatening to chop you up and sell you!"

The elf gave a soft, uncomfortable, laugh at that, raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck and looking away, staring at everything around them except for Luci. "I thought... I mean I saw you in the window... and... y'know I thought maybe if they were being really scary..."

A ruse. Goddamn it, it had all been a ruse. How had he even fallen for that? It wasn't like Elfo was a great actor, and he highly doubted that any of the other three were either. He'd been fooled and he felt a surge of anger at the fact. It all fit. He could just envision how it had gone down with what he imagined was a fair amount of accuracy.

Elfo had realized he was there, that Luci would follow them. But when Luci hadn't come to his rescue, he'd decided to make a deal with the thieves to up the ante and force Luci's hand. He'd been taking a risk that Luci wouldn't just leave him at their tender mercies because he _cared_ or some ridiculous nonsense like that. And Luci had fallen for it! 

He was baffled about it, remembering how he'd felt that surge of alarm upon seeing Elfo in their grasp, the way he'd been unable to breathe when he thought they were actually going to hurt the elf in some permanent way. When had he gotten so sentimental? But there was a second aspect to this that was equally astonishing, one that he chose to focus on over having to think about his own slip. "You arranged this?" His voice came out scratchy. "You tricked me into rescuing you so you could win our bet?"

He'd never thought Elfo had that in him. To manage to actually hold up such a ruse for long enough that Luci actually fell for it, to even _think_ of such a ruse to begin with. That was just plain underhanded! And it meant that maybe Elfo was learning a bit more from him than he would have expected because it was exactly the kind of thing that Luci might have suggested in this kind of position. He hated to lose too. In a way though, that meant he'd affected Elfo more than he'd thought. Wasn't that kind of a victory for him? Getting the elf to give up on his goody-two-shoes act and be underhanded was an accomplishment even if it had just been for a little while. Damn, he was good at his job!

Elfo, unaware of his thought process, was looking more and more like he was about to cut and run. He shuffled his stupid little elf shoes against the floor and darted a gaze in the general direction of the door. The trio of thieves, on the other hand, were watching this with uncomprehending looks on their faces. To be fair, they didn't know Elfo the way he did. They didn't realize just how very weird this all was.

Well, he wasn't about to let Elfo run. And even though he'd essentially been cheated out of his rightful victory, Luci was finding that he didn't mind it quite as much when the end result was that Elfo had to be Bad to prove Luci was Good. That just evened it all out a bit. Luci hopped down from the counter, the carefully calculated jump planting him right in front of Elfo, in the path he would have been able to use to retreat. There was nowhere else to go and Luci could tell from the catch in Elfo's breath that he knew it too. He was probably expecting Luci to start slapping him or smacking him with his tail, both common behaviours. He took a shaky step backward and bumped into the stool behind him before catching hold of it to keep from falling over.

"I-I wasn't trying to win our bet by cheating-" Elfo stuttered out, perhaps trying to forestall Luci's anger. "I just wanted-" He slapped a hand over his mouth, stopping the rest of the words.

_What? Wanted what?_

Luci had no idea what the elf could have wanted so desperately that he would have lied and come up with this underhanded scheme to get it. If it wasn't the money, the satisfaction of victory and the ability to gloat, then what possible reason could Elfo have had to put all of this together. Luci's tail flicked out, catching in the front of Elfo's shirt and dragging him forward so they were almost eye to eye. Elfo stumbled as he was dragged, landing on one knee, looking at Luci wide-eyed. His cheeks darkened a little in a manner that was just as confusing as everything else. "Then what were you trying to do?" Luci asked, his voice coming out surprisingly soft.

He needed to hear something. Wanted to hear something, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Elfo's eyes darted away but he was too close to run and Luci's grip would have prevented it anyway. "I just hoping..." He flicked his tongue across his lips, nervously, and this close, Luci could feel the warmth of Elfo's breath with every nervous little huff of air that escaped him. Elfo's golden eyes pressed tightly close, his body tensing with the expected blows and then he whined out, "I just wanted you to come save me!"

Luci's paws went weak at that. His eye was wide. The words had been soft enough that it was unlikely most of the other people in the bar had heard them, with perhaps the exception of the three thieves who were now looking between the two of them. From the corner of Luci's eye he could see a slight smirk on the leader's face, her lips twisted with amusement for some reason. But he couldn't really focus on that because Elfo's weird little confession had just sent his mind down a completely different train of thought.

_I just wanted you to come save me. Yeah. he was getting pretty good at that, wasn't he?_

And Luci had come to the rescue, though Elfo probably couldn't have known about it to start with. He'd gone after Elfo initially when he'd almost gotten the elf captured in the first place. Luci was pretty sure that Elfo hadn't arranged this much earlier. Even with some skills gained from his time with Luci, it was unlikely he could keep a lie up that long. The initial kidnapping had been real and Luci's fault. Whatever bargain Elfo had made had probably been while they'd been hanging out trying to wring money out of him. So it wasn't like Luci was totally off the hook for how some of this had gone down. 

He'd followed Elfo out of concern, as much as he hated to admit it. It meant Elfo had been right about there being a tiny - very tiny - sliver of good in him. Elfo's sneaky plan had only managed to bring out that tiny bit of sentiment in him that he tried to keep hidden. If he hadn't cared, he wouldn't have followed at all. Once he'd been there, saving Elfo had been inevitable. Stupid Elfo.

He had every right to be royally pissed off and yet...

Without thinking, Luci smacked Elfo across the face with one paw. It was a sharp gesture but only a single motion. He could easily have continued, kept smacking the elf, the way Elfo had done to him back when he'd jumped him in the woods that one time, but he wasn't concerned with that revenge over this. No... when it came right down to it... this was actually kind of... _impressive_.

"Ow!" Elfo yelped, recoiling a little. He covered his face as best he could, peering from between his fingers at Luci. He was expecting more, but it never came. Instead, Luci just gave his head a slight shake, let out his breath in a snort and put the rest of the thoughts firmly to the back of his mind in favour of the one that was actually addressable in this situation. 

"You sly little bastard," Luci said, causing Elfo to spread his fingers a bit so he could peer more easily at the demon. There was still caution radiating off of him, like he was expecting Luci's moment of amusement to wear off and leave him angry, but he was still a little hopeful. Luci looked from Elfo to the trio he'd roped into this whole farce. "I can't believe you managed to be _so underhanded_. Scheming and plotting like that. I just didn't think you had it in you!" 

It took a few more moments of Luci not beating him up before Elfo cautiously let his hands drop, staring at Luci like the demon had grown another head. "You... you're not mad?"

"Well, of course I'm mad," Luci snapped, causing the elf to flinch again. "But this is just the kind of thing I've been trying to get you to do for ages. It means I've finally accomplished something with you!" It was true, he'd spent a lot of time trying to get under Elfo's skin and persuade him to go along with all the craziness he and Bean got into. And while Elfo could usually be peer pressured into doing drugs or robbing someone's carriage while under the influence of drugs, he was never that into it compared to his two companions. He didn't take the initiative to be the worst person he could be. It was one of the biggest disappointments that Luci had to endure with the elf.

_Not the biggest, though. Not by a long shot._

"I mean, you went behind my back, teamed up with murderous rogues like these losers-" he gestured toward the trio who were looking miffed but he suspected it had less to do with the insult and more to do with the fact that Luci still hadn't promised to buy their vodka. "And then you actually set up a plan to fool me into losing our bet, which means you also basically cheated me and a bunch of other people out of a lot of money. I mean, really Elfo, that's a pretty impressive piece of lying, petty larceny and cheating. It's almost up to my standards!" He paused, because that really was giving the elf too much credit. "Well... no, it's really not, but for you, it's still a worthwhile accomplishment. I guess Bad Elfo really does exist!"

It was the kind of praise that Luci never showered on Elfo and he could tell from the way Elfo was shuffling from foot to foot a bit, that he wasn't sure how to take the praise he was being heaped with. That seemed to be a common thing for these mortal, something that still baffled Luci. Or maybe it was just that Elfo had caught on to the ridiculous irony that after spending most of their time together attempting to be Bean's voice of reason, that he'd managed to cross more lines all at once than Bean had. The only thing Elfo hadn't added to his list was murder. Though the day was still young... there was always the possibility that he could squeeze it in.

_Unless one counted what the elf continually did to Luci's pride and feelings, because if that counted, then Elfo was one of the most awful little pricks he'd ever had the misfortune to run across. It really wasn't fair that he was so bad at being good and yet so good at making Luci feel so small sometimes._

Elfo stared at him, fidgeted, then looked up at the thieves who were still holding the flask, still looking unnervingly bored. "So... you like that I did all that?" He cleared his throat, for once smartening up enough that he took the opportunity presented to him before Luci had the chance to change his mind. "So you'll honour my agreement? You'll consider buying their Potato Juice?"

"I never said that." Luci snapped. He let the words hang for a moment before he turned back to the trio, hands on his hips. "Look, we can do a 40-60 split but I refuse to call it potato juice. And I'm not sharing a finder's fee with Elfo. And the finder's fee is coming out of your share since I'm doing all the work selling it."

The trio of thieves scowled, then convened for a moment, heads bowed together as they talked in slightly muffled babble. They darted glances at Luci, raising their heads to stare in his direction with piercing looks before ducking their heads back again. Finally they all turned to face him together, the leader of their ragtag group crossing her arms and meeting his eye with a steady stare. "We agree with your terms... except for the name."

Luci had expected that, given their obsession with potatoes, but he also didn't actually give a shit about what it was called. He literally had a drink called demon spit. It was only partly made of spit. No, what mattered is that it was something he could easily give up as a concession to get a better deal. They hadn't even thought to ask how much his finder's fee even was. "Fine. You win. It'll be Potato Juice."

The three of them nodded in unison. "And how will we arrange the first shipment?"

Details. Details. Fortunately, that was what Luci had an elf for. One that owed him a pretty big favour both for the fact that he hadn't gone ballistic and secondly for the amount of money Luci was out because of this whole stupid bet. "Arrange it with Elfo."

"But Luci-" Elfo started, only to shut his damn mouth when Luci glared at him. He whined, but he went behind the counter to grab some paper and start working up the arrangements. It would be exactly the sort of tedious bookwork that Luci hated to do and Elfo excelled at. Given everything else, he was still fairly sure that Elfo wasn't going to try any kind of weird embezzlement, but he was going to read over things afterward anyway, just to be safe. There was no telling what kind of ideas Elfo might have gotten into his head now that Bad Elfo was finally a thing.

-

"I'm sorry," Elfo said again, while he was helping Luci put up glasses. Even after arranging the paperwork for the bargain Luci had made with the thieves, he'd remained hanging around the bar afterward, waiting tables quietly and trying his best to be helpful. Normally Luci would have found it annoying, but he did rather like being sucked up to. It wasn't like it was unwarranted either. Elfo kind of owed him.

Still, he was getting a little tired of the apologies. It wasn't what he wanted. 

All he really cared about was the acknowledgement of everything he'd done. Was that so much to ask? To be the hero in Elfo's eyes, for once?

Luci turned his head away at the words, his ears flicking back in a gesture he wasn't fast enough to catch. The two of them had known each other for long enough that there was no doubt that Elfo caught the gesture and Luci mentally cursed the fact that the elf was being so attentive for once. Elfo hesitated, fingers twitching, tugging at the front of his shirt. "I didn't set everything up to fool you. I mean... I did, but not because I wanted to win." What? This argument again? It was still hard to wrap his head around what Elfo's motivation could possibly have been if victory hadn't been it. To gloat.

_I really just wanted you to save me._

Like he had when Elfo had been kidnapped by Big Jo? Like he had when Elfo had been banished from the castle by Zog?

_Like he had in Hell?_

Now that Luci really considered it, he was constantly coming after Elfo. It felt like his default state by now... that he was always a few steps behind Elfo, chasing him down and never actually managing to catch up or make any kind of meaningful impact. Apparently, none of his efforts had even warranted a goddamn thank you from Elfo and that was the worst part of all. Even Bean had thanked him. If she could do it, why couldn't Elfo?

"You just wanted me to chase you down, is that it?" Luci said, trying to be bland and finding that his words came out with a bit too much vehemence behind them. It betrayed the aloof state he was trying to portray. As he stood there, tense, trying to calm himself so that he didn't give away anything more, he felt the brush of Elfo's hand against his shoulder. He flinched for a few seconds, breath caught in his throat as he whipped his head around to look at Elfo. He should have pushed his hand away, he knew that, but as soon as their eyes met, he somehow felt the hand he was raising drop back to his side. He couldn't do it.

"Yeah." Elfo said. He bit his lip. "Yeah, I guess so." As Luci watched, Elfo shuffled from foot to foot, his elf-shod shoes clicking against the wooden floor. Luci noticed the sound because it felt so loud to his ears. Everything around him felt a little too loud, a little too intense. Maybe it was just because he was suddenly paying so much attention to Elfo and all the fine details of him. Maybe that was it. Elfo was still talking though, not leaving Luci alone with his thoughts or letting him really process anything. "I wanted you to come and get me." He dipped his head and for a moment the ridiculous little tassel on his hat flicked around and hit Luci across the nose. Luci was too busy staring to flinch, even when it got too near to his eye. 

"Why, then?" Luci asked. He was pretty sure he actually asked it, anyway. The words might have just come from thin air instead of from his own lips.

Elfo's expression was earnest. "Because I wanted to know you cared."

"So... the whole point of this bet, then?" the explanation was a let-down but Luci had expected as much. He was getting a lot of those, from Elfo. Elfo'd wanted to know he cared, that he was a stupid hopeless sap like the rest of these mortals. That there was some _good_ deep down, something to contradict the creature of pure evil that Luci was. To be right. "You just wanted to prove I'm some squishy do-gooder like you?"

"No!" Elfo snapped back, so quickly and firmly that it caught both of them off-guard. As soon as the word slipped free, he slapped both hands over his mouth, eyes wide, like he hadn't intended to say it so loudly, so harshly. He stayed like that for a few seconds, mouth still covered, and then he let his hands fall to the sides again and repeated himself, softer but no less firm, "No. I wanted to know you cared... about me."

That was the most nonsensical thing. It literally broke Luci's brain for a few seconds... that question.

So yeah, Luci pretended to not care about a lot of things - and to be fair... there weren't a lot of things where he had to pretend not to care because he genuinely didn't give a shit about most people, locations or other things. He'd always been the sort to look out for himself. It was a demon thing. But maybe... just maybe... there were a few things he did care about. And it felt like that should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain.

_But they were talking about Elfo here... so that was dubious anyway._

The words slipped free before he could catch them. "Well doy!" He wanted to slap himself after that slip, his ears going back. Elfo stared at him like he'd just grown another head and maybe it was something about that look on the elf's face that kept him from taking the words back or trying to laugh them off while he could. It wasn't that he wanted Elfo to know that he... y'know... maybe cared or something... but from the way Elfo talked, it sounded like he hadn't even considered the possibility from Luci. What? Did he think Luci was a complete uncaring asshole? Why would he-

...

Well, okay. So maybe it was the impression Luci was always trying to give, but if anyone was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, it should have been Elfo. It wasn't like he'd just go to Hell to rescue anyone.

Elfo was struggling with something, Luci could tell by the shifting expressions on his face, that almost pained look for a moment. He turned his head away, considering, and Luci watched as his small green hands clenched into fists for a moment while he struggled with control. Then his voice came out in a soft croak, "What..." He swallowed. "So you do care?" It was small, soft. Hopeful.

And it would have been the smart thing to deny it. Luci had gone a long way with just a bit of denial and deflection. But considering he'd already lost their stupid bet and he was getting sick of being treated like he didn't even have feelings, he was a demon. Even so, it was still hard to hear the words dragged out from his mouth. "I went to Hell to get you, dumbass! What do you think?" It was the least nice way he could have phrased it and it still embarrassed the hell out of him. He moved to hop back up on the counter where he could put some distance between them. At least then he wouldn't have to look at Elfo. 

The movement was arrested halfway through as Elfo's hand caught hold of his arm. Elfo looked just as surprised as he was, in the brief moment where their eyes met, and then the elf pulled him into a hug. He was reminded of Elfo's soft hug back after Kissy had dumped him. How warm it had been. How sweet Elfo's smell was, especially when Luci was pressed so close against him. All the things he didn't want to notice about Elfo because they gave him the strangest feelings, deep down. Sure, maybe his ego was part of it... it was embarrassing to have to worry about what people thought or whether he was going soft. But even Luci wasn't foolish enough to not realize that there was more to it than that.

He _liked_ Elfo.

Not loved. He wouldn't say loved. That was the kind of word that a demon didn't even contemplate, much less risk saying out loud. But there was definitely some _liking_ going on here and in more than just a friendly way. It was confusing, honestly. Not just because it was something he didn't really understand - the whole feelings thing - but because Elfo was not the kind of person he'd ever expect to like.

His paws came up before he could think about the action, curling around Elfo tentatively to return the embrace. He felt heat rising to his cheeks as he realized what he was doing, and he was grateful that his shadowy fur covered any evidence of his embarrassment or fluster. He stayed like that for a few seconds before he pressed his paws firmly against Elfo's chest and shoved him back a short distance. The push was all he had in him though and if Elfo had tried again and given him another hug, he wasn't sure he could have continued with this attempt at distance.

Fortunately - _unfortunately_ \- Elfo decided to respect his bodily autonomy and not try to hug him again, which was rich considering the last time the little bastard hadn't let go and he'd had to endure several minutes of his friendly sympathy. Now that Luci thought it might not be so bad, Elfo was going to do the right thing. Stupid inconsistent Elfo.

"You know, Luci," Elfo said, trying to assume a light, reasonable tone of voice, as though he wasn't currently putting Luci's emotions through hell. "It's not such a bad thing to be a little good deep down. That's part of why I like you."

Of course it was. But the way Elfo put it so plainly reminded him that even though Elfo was presumably _Good_ that it didn't mean he was always good. In fact... sometimes Elfo could be just as bad as anyone else. It was one of the reasons he'd caught Luci's attention in the first place. He'd ben so dismissive when Elfo had just seemed like a goody two-shoes pushover who was trying to lead Bean down the right path. Seeing the ways in which Elfo was flawed and the bad decisions he made were actually kind of intriguing. Still, Luci couldn't just stand here and let Elfo insult him in this small way without offering some kind of retort. "Maybe. But you know, Elfo..." He offered a smile that the elf should have known not to trust but Elfo was still looking at him with that usual open expression. "In our time together I've learned that even if you think you're good... deep, deep down, you're a little bit of a bastard. And maybe that's the reason I keep hanging around with you."

Elfo's flush was far more obvious than Luci's had been, his cheeks colouring a darker green at the words. He darted his eyes away for a moment, hands clenching at the bottom hem of his shirt before he looked back at Luci. Luci didn't know what to make of that expression, for once. Elfo was usually easy to read but it was a confusing look.

"So you like Bad Elfo?" he asked then, tilting his head a little.

Luci snorted. "I told you, there's no such thing as Bad Elfo. There's just you, dumbass."

For some reason that seemed to reassure the elf, or at least his expression changed to something a bit more cheerful. "I like you the way you are too, Luci." He said, far too chipper for someone who'd spent the last 24 hours being kidnapped and enduring Luci's torment. Luci was going to snap back, something smart-assed, something that would make a point. But he froze before he could, his voice caught in his throat. The words, whatever they were, would never find their way out because he was too busy trying to process the odd sensation he'd just felt.

Elfo had kissed him on the blunt tip of his nose. It had been a casual gesture and it made Luci's brain short circuit trying to process it.

Had it even really happened?

He stared at the elf, trying to make some sense of the gesture. Was that an elf thing, maybe? Maybe elves just randomly kissed each other on the nose sometimes, just for shits and giggles. Or it was like... a friend thing. Friends kissing each other on the noses seemed plausible, maybe. Not for demons, obviously, but this wasn't Hell.

And Elfo, the jerk, was standing there like nothing of note had happened and he hadn't just broken Luci's brain with all the implications and possibilities. Luci wasn't quite willing to ask about the meaning of it, especially when he was equally worried about either possible answer he could get on that front, so he turned his head away with a slight cough, grateful that being black-furred hid any notable traces of embarrassment. Luci was expecting Elfo to clarify. It was normally so hard to get him to shut up. But instead he gathered the last of the glasses and took them to the back, leaving the demon standing there staring after him.

"I put the dishes in the sink." Elfo said cheerfully as he came around from the back after a couple more - very long - minutes where Luci was still having trouble figuring out what to think, much less what to say. Elfo patted him on the shoulder as he headed toward the door. "The apartment is still having the wall put back in, so I'll meet you back at Bean's room after you're done!"

It occurred to Luci, as Elfo reached the door, that he'd just been left to do the rest of the cleaning by himself. Normally he was able to trick or strongarm Elfo into staying around to help out - or even managing to excuse himself to do _important work_ in the back and leaving Elfo to wipe things down while he got in some weed smoking time. He wasn't used to having one of his own tactics turned around on him like that and he bristled, thankfully able to use the frustration to put other thoughts from his mind for the time being.

_But there'd be plenty of time to think on them later, he knew that. It was just putting off the inevitable._

"Hey! Aren't you going to help?" He didn't mean it to sound quite as pissy as it did.

Elfo turned his head to look back at Luci as he was standing in the doorway. "Oh, I would, Luci," He said blithely, "But since you got to be so bad all day, I think it's my turn to be bad next! And Bad Elfo doesn't do dishes for other people's businesses!" Luci could hear his annoying, self-satisfied little hum as he eased out the front door of the bar, presumably about to skip annoyingly back to the castle.

The little prick had ditched him!

He should have been mad about it. His tail gave an annoyed little sweep behind him and he finally managed to say something, far too late for the elf to probably even hear him. "Bad Elfo doesn't even exist!" Bae Elfo was like Good Luci. A bizarre concept that just didn't fit in the world as it was. Could it exist? Maybe. But it wasn't like anyone could prove it. Luci could have chased Elfo down and tried to guilt him into coming back and doing more work to help out, but he didn't.

Luci picked up the broom, pausing a moment to rub his paw across the tip of his nose. It still tingled a little. His nose felt warm.

His chest felt a little warm too.

And maybe he was humming a little himself as he started to sweep up, but since there was no one there to hear it, it wasn't like anyone would ever be able to prove it. 

-

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
